Mother In Law Is A Night Mare

[sheribee]

hi everyone. my mother in law is causing so many arguments in our house that it's is ridiculous!
she is 56, widowed sadly 14 yrs ago, has a bf who lives in his own house, the has her in house, decent amount if money, doesn't work, nice car but has had depression for years.
now, she just doesn't bother, she doesn't call, come round, see the kids, pretty much ignores the baby, won't ask to hold or cuddle him.
every excuse under the sun we get if we ask for any kind of help.
her son my hubby has severe depression and anxiety, hasn't worked due to this for few yrs and I help care fir him as he gets quite bad sometimes.
she won't come round and help at all with the kids or house or help me in any way cope with what is happening.
she will make excuses not to come over, or not to help if I ask which is very very rare. we have Been without a car now for a week, nearest town is 5 miles away, we have a baby and had no milk, a sick animal too. I asked her to take me to the vets so he could be seen and she said she had to b at the charity shop she volunteers in in 2 hrs and she couldn't let them down. but can let us down???
we have nothing, literally some weeks we have £40 shopping money. yet she complains about £7k going out of her account in 2 months, I don't even have that in a year.
it's her money of course but our life us hell, she could help but doesn't, I had to walk 10 miles today to take our pet to the vet!!
she expects her son to help her do stuff but does nothing to help in return.
I had to spend £8 on a taxi to get our daughter from school as she was being bullied, mil wouldn't take me to get her as she was already in town!
she also said the other day that she doesn't know y she bothers coming Iverson * on rare occasions she does) coz 1 daughter just sits upstairs and the other runs round like a Looney. we do gave a baby too but she makes no reference to him. like get doesn't exist sometimes.
she makes no effort for her beautiful family, she is blessed with so much, more than most can dream of, why is she like thus???
my husband won't say anything to coz he will feel guilty!

[society]

Sharin, you are not weird. :) I am from a huge family, seven siblings and we are there for each other in good times, times of need, and we take care of each other. I do understand exactly how your family lives and get along.
And you're a good kid (as Minty said), heart in the right place. x

[Sharingan]

Yeah they love, fight, shout, support, interfere and genreally are an omnipresence in one form or another.lol Cheers society xx

[sherrardk]

I am bringing my children up to understand that their siblings will always be there for them but friends will come and go. They look out for each other and I hope that they will be there for each other when they are adults. We (me and himself) both had tricky upbringings and have clear views on how we would like our children to turn out. Himself is estranged from his father and sister and I communicate with my (step) dad by phone and two of my siblings by text/FB and not at all with my twin sister - this is not what I want for my children.

[woofgang]

Sharin, sadly it is true...

[bednobs]

it's all very well saying "well families should help each other" but the point is, the MIL is NOT helping, AND is then causing tension between sherribee and her husband - sheri can only accept the situation as it is, she can't change someone who is nearly 50. It also sounds like the MIL hasnever been any different, so i don't understand why she should suddenly change to suit the expectations that sheri has of her

[EvianBaby]

I too come from a big family and any of us will do anything we can to help any other but there can be exceptions to that. You lose the desire to even care when one person seems to be expectant on others without doing anything to help themselves.

To be honest, it just sounds like she doesn't like you very much.

Your husband needs to get himself in a better state. Then he can go out and find work. If his current treatment isn't helping then he needs to address that. It is entirely possible to have depression and be functionible.

[Tina823]

From what you have said, she is really a night mare. You will get through it sooner or later, just come on!

[woofgang]

Tina believe me the OP's situation with her MIL is not a nightmare.....there are folk who have posted on here who would KILL for a MIL who wasn't interested and stayed away.

[joko]

i just noticed you expected to not turn up for work, in order to give you a lift at the exact time it suited you...
just because its a volunteer position does not mean you can just not turn up!

[RATTER15]

I bought my Ex Mother-in-Law a chair, I had it imported specially from Texas, She wouldn't even plug it in!!

[Sharingan]

lol@RATTER

[montechristina]

I think u should tell ur hubby to talk to his mother...It may be possible that ur mother-in-law understands her son's feeling and condition and starts helping u...and if she doesn't understands anything than don't worry leave her....Not today but tomorrow she will realize her mistakes....