I Had A To-Do With My Niece Last Weekend.

[Jenarry]

I'll try and keep this brief but just need to let off steam more than anything. I had my 7 year old niece over to stay last weekend.
I picked up her easter sunday lunchtime and we all went out for a nice walk.
Had tea ,played on my son's wii (he's 7 years old too) and got ready and went to bed. Perfect.
The next day as planned we took my son and niece bowling for the first time and we all had a good fun couple of hours. went home had tea same as evening before and all was dandy. it hadn't been planned for my niece to stop another night but everything was fine. she talked to her mum on the phone around 6.30 and her mum asked her if she wanted to stay and she said yes. and that was good for me as we was having a family meal the next day for my mum's birthday so my niece could join us too.
around 8 my mum rang just to confirm times for the meal and I told her ellisha would be joining us. all good. during the conversation with my mum i mentioned bedtime for the kids and then again when i put the phone down and all hell let loose!!!
my 7 yr old niece started to have a crying fit that she wanted her mum and she wanted to go home. proper screaming and whailing with a hissy fit worthy of a 3 yr old. It was awful.
we don't carry on like this in our house so it was a bit of a shock especially as she had been right as rain right up to the mention of bed.
she asked to ring her mum which i refused until she stopped crying . and so i gave her the phone once she calmed down and she started whailing and crying all over again to her mum on the phone.and her mum is telling me to bring her home if she wants to come home which didn't help.
I really didn't want to give her her own way but she was getting herself into such a state. and then when i said i would take her home she was right as rain and happy as larry so talk about crocodile tears.
I was so upset and annoyed with her and I had tried to reason with her during her tantrum and after but she all she was concerned about was getting her way.
i was talking to her in the car and she was fine and when we got home and then soon as she see her mum she turned it all on again . screaming and crying like I'd done something to upset her.
I told her mum and dad how naughty she had been and it was all due to bedtime and they didn't tell her off just laughed it off and made excuses for her behaviour while her big sister was giving her a big hug like I'd done something to her.
I've been really upset by this. I love spending time with my niece but when she turns into this tantrum throwing screaming spoilt child after we have given her a lovely time it really disappoints and hurts me.
So a week later I have heard through my mum that my name is mud and my niece's mum and my brother are annoyed at me for upsetting their child!
I was hoping they would be having a chat with her about this bad behaviour but instead they have decided it's my fault. I really can't believe it and I'm struggling to get my head around it. any words of advice about this.
i really worry about my 7 yr old niece still using this behaviour at her age. and her parents doing nothing to stop her. :O(

[sara3]

she's SEVEN and she wanted to go home!

[pastafreak]

Erm...how do we know these 'histrionics' are a regular occurence? We don't,yet some people seem to come down awfully hard on a little girl who may simply have been over tired from several days of unfamiliar activity and company. Give her a break.

[Sharingan]

I have younger brothers and sisters and by and large they are very well behaved and don't get away with a lot, however Kali ( one of the twins) can tantrum to world class standard if she wants to and being little it's to be expected sometimes. It's not worth getting upset about, little kids are sometimes horrid, often in fact, she told my mum's boyfriend that she hated him and he was ' big and ugly' because she couldn't have her own way after he'd taken her pony trekking and out for the day, so don't fall out with her parents over it and just try to forget it. He did and now things are mostly nice between them. I wouldn't have her sleeping over though if she unfettles your peace and calm because you can't expect her parents to rear her the way you would, she's not your child.

[netibiza]

Iluvspikey - I would have thought that by 7 yrs the parents would know if she was inclined to hissy fits.

[Iluvspikey]

but I've seen it so many times they can't/ daren't try it at home so they 'get away with it' elsewhere

[ummmm]

Daren't?

What are they scared of?

[Jenarry]

Thanks a lot Canary. :O/ No I think she does this at home too. and she has done exactly the same at my parents (her grandparents ) house although the last time was a while ago with my parents and I think my brother had words with her and she has been better since until this occurence.. She spends quite a bit of time with us either out doing fun stuff or just at home playing with my son so the surroundings and people aren't unfamiliar to her and she even asks to come over for a sleepover with us.
They were absolutely crocodile tears she turned them on and off 3 times altogether. when I handed the phone to her mum and she was fine and she started whailing again i could not believe it and when we walked into her house she said calm as anything to my brother. 'Oh hello dad.where's mum?' upstairs in the livingroom says my brother. she walks upstairs and the whailing starts even before she sees mum and by the time I follow her she is being cuddled by her big sister so she didn't even go to her mum who she'd been whailing for! :O( The family don't have a car so they can say come home at the end of the phone but it's me who has to go out and take her home for no reason. :O( also she has always slept in her mum's bed with her . they started it as a baby and still haven't broken the habit so bedtimes are an issue . also my sis in law has admitted to me that they allow my niece to stay up until 1am sometimes at the weekends when they are having lets say a 'social evening'. so it's no wonder we have trouble with her at bedtimes for one reason or another. maybe it will be best to stop the sleepovers altogether like a lot of posters have recommended.

[Cloverjo]

I would definitely stop the sleepovers. As I said before, the mum sounds very selfish. To allow the girl to decide if she stays an extra night before asking you, and then to knowingly palm the bedtime problem onto someone else is too much.
I don't think you need to worry about your name being mud, as you said in the original post. It sounds like your brother is wise to what is going on, but maybe won't stand up to his OH. She's the real problem here.

[Jenarry]

Thanks cloverjo. You have hit the nail on the head. Are you their neighbour?.. :O/ It's never a very happy house and it seems my brother tries not to be around too much. Unfortunately the behaviour has been learned by my niece from an early age. I thought she had grown out of it lately until this happened and the older she gets the harder I find it as i can't help thinking she is too old for this kicking,screaming,crying behaviour.

[mrs.chappie]

I'm with you on this one, Jenarry. I'd be very miffed at a 7 year old turning the waterworks on and off in that way.

You were doing a good turn, yet you ended up being made to feel like a bad 'un. What a bu88er that is.

[Jenarry]

I know Mrs Chappie that's how it feels. I had been meaning to talk to my brother and his gf the days following this incident but didn't but I was thinking about it so much and hoping they had talked to her as it had really upset me. And then it turns out they've done no such thing and decided to make me the villian in all this.
I'm not very fussed about what my sis in law is saying. I try not to have much to do with her . but i am bothered about my niece and how she sees all this and my brother too.. :O(

[dancecaller]

Hope you've sorted things with them now.

When I worked at a Playgroup i saw a lot of 'crocodile tears'. A child had been hurt and upset, and got over it but as soon as Mum appeared at the end of the morning it was waterworks again.
I think they need to show their Mum that they had been upset.