Do You Have Any Fruity Jokes?

[Spoonboy]

No! This is not a quest for unprintable and/or blue jokes, this one involves fruit. Do you have any jokes that include a fruit; probably not very PC but like...

Q: What is yellow and dangerous? A. A banana with a flick knife.

Have fun, and play on. Thanks in advance.

[AlwaysConfused]

Q) What's round and red and smells of apple?
A) An apple

Q) What's round and red and smells of banana?
A) An apple wearing banana aftershave

[Frank97]

Why did the pineapple go out with a prune?

Because he couldn't find a date!

[Quoi]

A man goes into the doctors with mash potato on his chin, a sausage in each nostril and baked beans in his hair.

The doctor told him he should eat more sensibly.

[north star]

(Courtesy of ALan Davies on QI)

What's red and sits in the corner?


A naughty strawberry.

[marval]

Q. Why did the tomato blush?

A. Because he saw the salad dressing

What did the grape say when he was stood on?
Nothing he just gave a little wine!

Why were the apple and the orange all alone?

Because the banana split

[Spoonboy]

I'm actually loving them all: but I know the salad dressing joke, but with a crab blushing. It is a pity I have to choose a best answer out of them all, as all are equal funny. But I will choose the one I told my mum who had not heard it before (the trifle joke) and found it equally as amusing. I have got on her nerves a bit over the years re-hashing the old jokes. Thank you everyone.

[888]

Wahey!, thankyou very much Spoonboy for BA. Tough contest. (Speech, speech. I'd like to thank my ........)
In this day an age, I never know if the PC brigade get offended.
Another even older punchline to this same joke is more popular,"She's a trifle in arrears"