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We Went To France

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BAKERS DOZEN | 18:38 Tue 28th May 2013 | ChatterBank
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for a nice relaxing holiday. We arrived on the Friday and in the early hours of Saturday morning our lovely daughter-in-law died after a long battle with cancer. Our grandson did not want to go to the funeral so we paid for him and his girlfriend to come out and stay with us for two weeks. They are both sixteen. They flew out on the Wednesday. On the following Thursday she was complaining of severe stomach pains and ended up in hospital and on a drip. I sat on my specs and broke them but luckily had a spare pair with me. We went to dinner with friends and I cracked one of my bottom teeth on a lovely crisp piece of french bread. Three days after that I lost a filling out of one of my top teeth while gnawing on some ribs at a barbecue. The weather was awful with really big hailstones for three days running. Mr BD fished for two weeks without catching a thing. Glad to say he did better on the third week. Oh did I forget to mention that old uncle Harry died as well and we missed his funeral. When we got to the Eurotunnel for our return journey there were technical delays and everything was running about 2/3 hours late. We'd had one of the brand new Sky plus boxes installed just before we left and when we arrived home we found out that everything we had left on the planner had failed. C'est la vie!
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She was diagnosed as terminally ill in Sept 2011 and given only a few months to live. Definitely not a year said the specialist. It may sound hard but we booked our 2012 holidays thinking she would no longer be with us. We had insurance but this was not covered as it was known about before the booking. She was a very practical girl who had organised and paid for her funeral, selected the venue, the music etc. When she was still with us in June 2012 we would joke with her and ask if she could hang on another three weeks until we came back. In Sept 2012, a year later, we booked for 2013. By Sept last year it was affecting our grandson badly and he lost three stone in weight, was not sleeping properly and it was affecting his schoolwork so he came to live with us. He could not face the funeral. We had all said our goodbyes so many times I don't think any of us really believed it would happen. He is now our main concern and after much discussion between the families we decided to stay with him. My brother was there to support my son. I think deep down I could not face it as I feel guilty about her dying. We were both in Christies Hospital in Manchester for the same two weeks being treated for cancer. I had major surgery and ended up with a 26 inch scar right round my middle, she had chemo as they could not operate as the tumour was on her spine. I lived and am cancer free and she died. It feels so wrong as you should not outlive your kids. She was 42. Hope this helps to explain what must seem like a strange decision.
No, not at all, BD. I am sure there were others that may have thought the same thing. Not a happy time for all of you, that being part of the savagery of this disease that is well known here.........(also know Christie's from others in the family and family friends who have been in there).

I hope that future visits to France are a little more peaceful as to what's happening in the background! I used to live on the western edge of Paris, literally the fields of the lower Seine valley in front of me out at St Germain-en-Laye - well versed for weekends in the upper and lower Normandy countryside!
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What made you come back?
The job - was working for a major company - nearly went back in 1997 to sort out one of the French energy companies as to their regional approach and axe 400 middle and senior management jobs. Got close enough to think about "selling" it to the wife and she was in favour, looking at houses down the valley from Pontoise and St Germain (the offices in Neuilly) but then Jospin came to power and I would have been on a hiding to nothing as Directeur-General de Changement, as to Union resistance. We ended up going elsewhere.

Anyway, welcome back home and night.....
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Goodnight, sleep tight.
BD, hope things get better for you, you have been through some. My sympathies on the loss of you DIL and your uncle Harry. x
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Thank you Society for your kind words. Much appreciated.

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