Put this on JJ's thread last night - it's fun.....
Holiday Fruitcake Recipe
You'll need the following: 1 C water 1 C sugar 1 C brown sugar 4 large eggs lemon juice 1 tsp. baking soda 2 C dried fruit nuts 1 tsp. salt 1 FULL bottle of your favourite whisky.
Sample the whisky to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again to be sure that it is of the highest quality.
Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat 1 C of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 tsp. sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskyy is still okay.
Cry another tup.
Turn off the mixer. Break two legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whisky gen to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares. Check the whiskeey.
Now sift the lemon juice and add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to off the beat turner. Throw the bowl out the window. Check the whisky again.
Sounds like my OH making anything in the kitchen, armed with a bottle of red. He took 2 1/2 hours to defrost bolognese sauce and cook some pasta, could hardly stand at the end.