Can You Die From Embarrassment?

[Sparkles62]

I think my friend very nearly did just now.
He popped around to see me and was telling me how he had been really busy all week decorating for his aunt.
He told me all about the house, how beautiful it was, and how I would love her kitchen because it is huge,
then he said 'and she has got a beautiful clitoris'

thats a conversation stopper if there ever was one.
What do you say to that?..........I just sat and looked at him,

So he carried on to tell me that it was pink and I would really love it if I saw it!!!!
I couldn't keep quiet any longer and had to ask him what he was talking about,
So he reapeated, she has got the most amazing clitoris,
Its bright pink and it goes up over her front door and all across the front of the house.
By now I've got tears running down my cheeks and nearly wetting myself from trying not to laugh.
I think you mean clematis I told him, at which point he went the colour of a post box.....even his ears poor love.
Its a good job you can't die from embarrassment beacause I think he nearly did.
Me, I just needed new pants. Lol

[DaisyNonna]

Smiliing happily at these.
Australian friend could not understand why the assistant called for the manager in Boots when he needed sellotape. Durex in his vocabulary.

[China Doll]

I went up to order a bottle of veuve clicquot on my 30th birthday, (we'd already had one bottle between three of us).... naturally I asked the bar man for a bottle of veuve Cilit Bang!... I was still beaming red when I got back to the table ten minutes later.

[China Doll]

Oh good grief! I asked for veuve c l i t - not cilit bloody bang.

[Sparkles62]

Seventeen years old and in my first proper full time job, I was sent out to pick up some shopping for the boss,
I went to the deli counter and asked for Odd ends pate, that was what I had written on the list because that was the way I heard it.
Felt really stupid when I found out it was called Ardennes.

[Traci66]

This really made me laugh, my clematis is absolutely stunning this year, I was going to post a picture ....... now I'm not going to bother ;-)

[tonyav]

C'mon Traci, I want to see it !.

[Traci66]

No.

[RATTER15]

Oh go on Traci, is it budding nicely :-)

[mrs_overall]

These stories are so funny!

My late mum was slightly jealous of an aunt who was given a fur coat one Christmas. She said
"I bet it's not real, it will be that stimulated fur"

[frugalfred]

Way back, my Gran informed me that she had just redecorated the lounge "with that emotional paint"!

[Barmaid]

Someone once asked me if I could draft them a crocodile for their will (I think they meant codicil).

But me, I had a nasty break into my windscreen. So I walked into the windscreen fitters having parked my car beneath the window and said "Can you see my dirty great crack". A room full of men burst out laughing.

Not quite as funny as how Mr BM embarrassed me at the weekend though. We were talking about how we met and I explained how one night he came over for supper - the first meal I cooked for him. His sister asked "What did you get?" (clearly meaning, what did I cook him). Mr BM raised an eyebrow and said he didn't ought to discuss it publicly. I could have died of shame.

[Sir Alec]

Many years ago, my Mum and I were watching a Cousteau programme. She couldn't understand why I was laughing when she had said that an octopus looked like it had more than eight testicles........!

[Traci66]

Okay, you win, don't know if this will work though
http://i44.tinypic.com/34gd53.jpg

[Traci66]

Didn't work, have changed my avatar so you can all see my clematis.

[Traci66]

Well waiting for it to change!

[tonyav]

Hey wots going on I want to see this clitoris, where is it ?.

[Traci66]

CLEMATIS Tony, clematis!

[tonyav]

Oh yeah, sorry Traci must have been a typo. or Freudian slip, maybe lol.

[tonyav]

eight testicles........!



LOL @ Sir A.

[josaphine32]

I just split my coldsore laughing at bm, s window screen, my lip is really sore now.