Children And Old People,who'd Have 'em?!

[pixie373]

Just took elderly gentleman client to a cafe. He's a little deaf and speaks quite loudly.
His first comment on sitting down, was "it says 'help yourselves to cutlery.' We need more forks at home, don't we?"
He got a very dirty look from the waitress, who was putting a large slice of cake in front of a (very) large lady. At which point, my client shouts, "you'd think that would be the last thing she needs!"
So that was a comfortable atmosphere.

Any stories of being embarrassed by your friends/relatives/kids?

[pixie373]

Lol. Sorry, I've been at work!
I've had the "why has that man got such a big nose?"
and going back to the "daddy" incidents,my youngest child (2 at the time) said "hello, daddy" to a plumber who came in.
The plumber held his hands up in surrender and said to me, "I'm already paying for two!"

[pixie373]

Not two of mine, i might add! :-)

[888sally888]

My top 3 - daughter number 1 asking why a man on the bus had black skin (had to explain about pigmentation etc and he said he was v impressed with my answer.

Another time being at a shire horse show and my daughter asking VERY loudly in a packed arena why the horse had 5 legs (the horse was clearly very excited!) I said the horse had 2 tails!

And last but by far the best - 2nd daughter couldn't say blackcurrant and pronounced it "black-c**t" - I swiftly taught her to say Ribena!

[Spoonboy]

You ought to read "out of the mouth of babes" in the Daily Mail adjacent the letters section, Tuesday to Friday.

[pixie373]

Read it spoonboy? I could probably write it.

[Spoonboy]

Some of them are quite funny: although, some look a little contrived at times. Still a good read, though.

[pixie373]

Thanks, I'll have a look.
My daughter, when she was 4, completely panicked that "the baby was upside-down". It was because he was lying on his front chewing a toy and he normally slept in his back.

[Roo_power]

When my daughter was about four, my mother was helping her to have a bath. My daughter looked down at her wrinkled fingers and said 'Look nanny, my fingers are just like yours - but mine will get better'.

[Spoonboy]

Funny gent. We'd get on methinks.

[DTCwordfan]

My eldest in a café-cum-ice-cream shop, cum coffee shop. Sees her first one-legged man....."Mum, Dad, that man's only got one leg."

"Hush darling, he may have had a bad accident."

Ten seconds of reflection "Hard for him to play kick-ball."

Result a restaurant in stitches.

My goddaughter, living in a 12thC house in Oxfordshire, true Archers country in not that much exposure to coloured people. Up rocks a friend of my mate's, a Nigerian from his school, 6ft-3, a bit like the doctor student in Rising Damp. He fills the tiny door - my 3 yr old goddaughter looks him up and down.....

"Why are you covered in chocolate?"

[DTCwordfan]

And to be pc balanced, I was travelling in a limo in Washington DC and the chauffeur and I got onto this - I related the story, his version being that they get many similar comments the other way round about "Why are they ghosts or covered in talcum powder....."

[Roo_power]

As it's after the watershed ..... same daughter and i were on a bus when she saw a very excited great dane walking by. ' Oh look, that dogs willy is bigger than daddy's'. We got off at the next stop.

[888sally888]

lol lol lol @ Roo

[askyourgran]

Sitting on the long seat of a full bus with my daughter aged 3 - 'Mummy why does that lady next to you have a mustache? (mootasha in daughter speak).

[Prudie]

Within 10 minutes of arriving at my house to spend Christmas my mother took a handful of pot pourri out of a bowl on the coffee table and put it straight in her mouth.

[chrissa1]

Lol at Eddie51.

[Roo_power]

It was only funny after I got off the bus!! When she was about eight daughter came home from school , very excited as she had a boyfriend. This lad was a young Lothario and had a harem of about six of his female classmates and reckoned he was going to marry them all.I pointed out that this wasn't really possible and daughter said 'But Henry the 8th had six wives'. I explained what happened to Henry's wives and she looked very thoughtful, ' I think I'll find another boyfriend'

[vulcan42]

A number of years ago my young son and I visited the local bookshop. He quickly found and paid for the books he wanted and then came and stood beside me. I was browsing, picking books at random and then replacing them on the shelves. After a while he started to get impatient and said in a very loud voice” Are you going to pay for that this time?” I knew what he meant, but the assistant didn't, she was convinced I was a shoplifter.

[society]

LOL kids do say the darnest things.

[pixie373]

Thanks! Still giggling! I'll have to try to remember these, in case needed on future threads! ;-)