picture the scenario

[jjaammeess]

you are happily married with three children that you adore and you live in the house that you inherited .Your wife gets a new job.She falls in love with one of the employees.She does not admit that she is having an affair and you do not know what the hell's going on.After months she admits her affair and say she wants a divorce.You naturally fight this in court and the court because she is a woman gives her custody of the children you are kicked out of your house that you inherited it from your parents and she moves in to live with her lover.You live in a dingy flat that you can't bring your children to and you have to pay 1/3 of your salary in maintenance. Your health is very low and you suffer a breakdown.You have a huge legal fees Where is the justice in this.why I do not completely agree with the fathers for justice ways of doing things I do think their concerns are justified in need to be addressed .

I think that the just thing would have been for the woman to have been kicked out of the house and custody awarded to the father and for her to pay maintenance to him.but I'm afraid that is not the way it is today so prospective husbands beware there is a lot to be said for remaining single. Don't think it is the worst option I know what I would do if I had my time againwherein

[MangoPete]

There ia no way anyone can understand the pain and tearing you have experienced in your soul unless they have been there themselves.
The sad fact is many yhave ... Have you become involved with a support group such as famillies need fathers?.
I was divorced 9 years ago. my boys still with my ex wife are now subject to psychologist after psychologist.
She is incapable.
It is a long road ahead for you to travel, you need to look to the distant future and let the love of your children and the love you have for your children try to ease the pain.
Live for them if you cannot live for yourself.
www.fnf.org
Take care

[Goodsoulette]

I wish you all the best. It is absolutely disgusting.How can she have a house that belongs to your family, I dont get it. What were the grounds for divorce, did the affair come up in court.

[smudge]

I'm so sorry to hear your sad story jj & I'm amazed that you have been asked to leave the house that you inherited! If you had the funds, there must be a good solicitor out there, who can look into that side of things for you.

I do hope in time things will improve for you & wish you all the best for a happier future.

P.S. I don't know how your wife & her 'boyfriend' can live with themselves - they obviously deserve each other.

[Jay70]

Surely if it is you we are talking about you are entitled to a percentage of the house. I do not agree with the fact the mother nearly always gets custody. It should be the person who causes the marriage to break down that loses custody. A frined of mine who was doing well on the property ladder and had put almost all the capital into the house and lost 60% of it when his wife decided 'she didn't know what she wanted anymore' and got custody of their child. I think sexual equality should apply to everything and it clearly doesnt in these sorts of situations. It leads to a gold digging society and one that doesn't put enough emphasis on sorting out problems. I do however agree there are situations where the best thing is to divorce as more harm than good will ocurr.

[gsm1973]

Your situation is dreadful and I'm sorry to hear about it. My other half went through a very similar situation and is still very hurt by it.

Are you strong enough to bring a civil case against her? There is absolutely no way she should have been able to keep the house and move her lover in.

Keep in mind the love you have with your children.

As a divorced woman myself I do not agree with mothers always getting full custody. I'm of the mindset that you take from a marriage exactly what you took into it and nothing more than that. In this day and age prenups should be made a legal requirement. My current partner and I have agreed that we'll have one drawn up should we decide to marry.

Good luck, I hope this all works out for you

[Englishbird]

I echo what's been said above, i have no direct experience of this and cannot offer any advice.

All I can say is please know that not all women are like this, you've been unlucky (putting it mildly). Not all women are out for what they can get and out to do men over.

She sounds like a **** (I star'd that out myself) Don't give up honey, i think it must be hard for you to imagine life beyond this, but try and live it with some hope, if you do, things will come right for you in the end. You're better off (albeit not financially) without her.