Jokes0 min ago
The Idea
The idea of perfume makes so much scents.
Anybody else going to eat cat food for dinner?
I Know Iams.
A man walks into a fishmongers with a salmon under his arm.
"Do you sell fishcakes?" he asks.
"Of course," says the fishmonger.
"Oh good," says the man. "It's his birthday!"
It’s my mate's birthday tomorrow and he's got to spend the day on the Customer Service desk at Marks & Spencers. I wished him many happy returns.
We live in strange times.
Kids run wild and dogs go to obedience school.
This new phone tariff is a bit steep, every time I plug the phone in it tells me it's charging.
I got caught speeding yesterday. The policeman asked me to step out of the car and walk in a straight line.
Half way down he stopped me and said, "I'm sorry sir, but you'll have to come back to the station with me as you're staggering."
I replied, "Oohh, you little tiger, you're not so bad looking yourself."
I reckon when we eventually invent the technology to travel millions of light years and get to alien civilisations, we should just leave patterns on their crops and leave.
Ar
The atomic symbol for Pirate
I was in the shop waving my hands at the shopkeeper, then I picked up some wine and signaled to him.
He said, "Are you being served?"
I said, "No, Last of the summer wine, but good guess."
Anybody else going to eat cat food for dinner?
I Know Iams.
A man walks into a fishmongers with a salmon under his arm.
"Do you sell fishcakes?" he asks.
"Of course," says the fishmonger.
"Oh good," says the man. "It's his birthday!"
It’s my mate's birthday tomorrow and he's got to spend the day on the Customer Service desk at Marks & Spencers. I wished him many happy returns.
We live in strange times.
Kids run wild and dogs go to obedience school.
This new phone tariff is a bit steep, every time I plug the phone in it tells me it's charging.
I got caught speeding yesterday. The policeman asked me to step out of the car and walk in a straight line.
Half way down he stopped me and said, "I'm sorry sir, but you'll have to come back to the station with me as you're staggering."
I replied, "Oohh, you little tiger, you're not so bad looking yourself."
I reckon when we eventually invent the technology to travel millions of light years and get to alien civilisations, we should just leave patterns on their crops and leave.
Ar
The atomic symbol for Pirate
I was in the shop waving my hands at the shopkeeper, then I picked up some wine and signaled to him.
He said, "Are you being served?"
I said, "No, Last of the summer wine, but good guess."
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