lashing out in a temper- just the once?

[magicbeatle]

Has anyone ever had their partner hit them as a 'one off' in the heat of the moment, never to be repeated?

[Goodsoulette]

ha....yeah I thought that it was a one off. It was all ok for a bit, then he started strangling me instead if I argued with him, then he broke my arm, but he never actually hit me again. Temper is there, if its you get out cause it just becomes a pattern and you end up living with it. I suppose it depends on what kind of row, does s/he shout you down everytime you argue anyway?

[dilf]

. ive come across dom violence a lot in my life and they are all repeat offenders be careful

[jojo100]

not 100% true, ive known a few couples where hes hit once then never again, but i would say 99% would do it again plus more, one chance only, and stick to it, think wiv ur head not ur heart.

[Grunty]

As a large male, and with the greatest respect to what jojo100 says, I would have nothing but contempt for anyone who could do it even once.

[sunflower68]

As a teenager I had a boyfriend who attacked my by the throat. Luckily I got out quick; I was lucky to be young enough to have no ties to him really. I feel desperately sad for people trapped this way, with families and homes involved .Magicbeatle I can't tell but really hope you are ok.

[Wispy68]

If you allow a person to hit you (by staying with them) they will do it again and again, with the exception of those who may be able/willing to change their behaviour through counselling.

[Drusilla]

I think the one off scenario is wishful thinking. If a man/woman can lose control enough to strike out at someone they love, they are more than likely to repeat the act at some stage. If both partners are satisfied it is a one off, well that's their affair, but it should be on the understanding that a repeat of the violent act will end the relationship.

[mullein3]

no way would mr m hit me and i have known him approx 32 years ..and if he did well he would be finished..i loathe hate and despise men that hit women and vice versa..as i once came accross awoman that used to hit her husband..their is no need for it we all have tempers its just controlling them ..i lived in violence as achild my adopted dad used to beat the adopted mother up and no alchol or drugs were the culprit he just used to have a volatile temper..it must have been his red hair..they still stayed together till death us do part..they never got on socially or in any way but thats when you used to stay through thick and thin regardless..now people can escape from violent situations and they are not treated as lepers..

[craftykaz]

Yes, but only because I called the police (he was convicted of assault) and divorced him.

[joko]

it is possible it can ebe a one off moment of madness thing drunk etc whatever - but you must make them suffer for it. if you accept their apology and promises quickly and easily, they will not have a gauge of the consequences of their actions and subconsciously think if it happens again they will be able to talk their way out of it.
i would kick them out of the house for a few weeks, refuse to speak to them, refuse them seeing the kids (or whatever your situation) and stick to it - even if you know inside you will give them another chance you must make them see you are not a pushover.

I had a bloke, about 9 years ago, who always got up in my face screaming at me, never hit me but acted like he was about to, and one day i couldn't stand it any more and floored him. he never got in my face again - and i have never hit anyone since (or before)

though the difference is i didn't hit him through a power trip, it was a pure anger and 'end of my tether' thing rather than just a whim or bullying or 'because i can' and i certainly felt terrible afterwards because he had to go to hospital later as he had a hairline crack in his orbit(although i was pleased i had stood up for myself and showed him he couldn't get away with his bullying)

i would not dream of ever hitting anyone, but if seriously pushed it can happen to anyone

[Goodsoulette]

joko..... the guy who broke my arm was like that. He would have probably hit you eventually, I think you probably got in there before he thought you were weak enough. I couldnt stick up for myself, I just dont have an angry bone in my body.

[maggie01]

No! In a rage my husband punched a hole in the wall. Only the once. He said that it was safer to hit the wall. If it had been me he hit, then he wouldn't have had the chance to do it a second time. He is usually quite placid but I pushed him over the edge and unfortunately the wall copped it.