Report From Chas For His New Job

[starone]

After landing my new job as a B & Q greeter - a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day ......

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said, pleasantly, "Good morning and welcome to B & Q."
I then said, "Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"

I replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Madam. I just couldn't believe someone sha*gged you twice.... Have a good day and thank you for shopping at B & Q."

My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

[Psybbo]

Oh heck, I didn't notice this was in Jokes!

[murraymints]

Lol...good stuff !

[tonyav]

LOL.
and lol @ Pysbbo.

[frugalfred]

One does not look at the mantelpiece when stoking the fire...

[tonyav]

One does have to sometimes I'm afraid, fred.

[sunny-dave]

... or even when playing with the ornaments :+)

[tonyav]

LOL.

[cupid04]

BIGGER LOL THAN TONE!

[frugalfred]

Would those be the ornaments in brass?

[tonyav]

cupid04
BIGGER LOL THAN TONE!


Oi, pack that in you little minx.

[cupid04]

Should there be two S's?

[tonyav]

LOL.

[Baldric]

Honesty not always the best policy then?

[marval]

Brilliant Star

[carrust]

When i was a meet & greeter @ B&Q, someone asked for decking so I smacked him

[Psybbo]

Carrust for best answer