Little Johnny

[marval]

Little Johnny asked and received help from a librarian on how to use the card catalogue.

In a little while, he approached the librarian again, wanting to know how to spell "tequila".

"T-e-q-u-i-l-a," spelled the librarian, and Little Johnny thanked her and went back to his search.

A short time later he came to the desk, looking quite distraught.

"I just can't find it," he said. "What book are you looking for?" the librarian asked.

Replied Little Johnny, "Tequila Mockingbird."


Little Johnny was with his mum as she was driving her old beat up car on the Highway.

She tried to keep up with traffic but they were flying by her.

After getting caught in a large group of cars flying down the road she looked at her speedometer to see she is doing 15 miles over the speed limit.

Slowing down she moved over to the side to let the group of cars get ahead. She looked up and saw the flashing lights of a police car. Pulling over she waited for the officer to come up to her car.

As he did he said, "Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over?"

Little Johnny piped up from the back seat, "I do! It's because you couldn't catch the other cars."


It was Palm Sunday, and because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a babysitter.

When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm branches.

The boy asked what they were for. "People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by."

"Wouldn't you know it, “the boy fumed. "The one Sunday I don't go, he shows up!"


A sixth grade class is doing a spelling test. Can anyone spell the word 'before'?"

Tommy stands up and says, "Before, B-E-P-H-O-R."

The teacher says, "No, that's wrong. Can anyone else spell the word 'before'?"

Bobby stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-O-R."

Again the teacher says, "No, that's wrong." Can anyone else spell the word 'before'?"

Little Johnny stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-R-E."

"Excellent Johnny! Now, can you use it in a sentence?"

Little Johnny says, "That's easy -- two plus two be fore."


Little Johnny and two of his friends were bragging about how tough they were.

"I'm so tough", said Bobby, "that I can wear out a pair of shoes in a week".

"Well", said Billy, "I'm so tough, I can wear out a pair of jeans in a day".

"That's nothing", said Little Johnny. "When my parents take me to see my grandma and grandpa, I can wear them out in an hour".

[mushroom25]

my mother was a teacher, and encouraged her class to ask for words if they weren't sure of the spelling. one day one of the class came to her and asked for "therponner". mum was mystified, until the pupil put it in context - he wanted to say "one therponner time".

[Roo_power]

A teacher friend of mine was presented with the following. 'smornanisornejog', translated this reads 'This morning, I saw a hedgehog'