teen mums

[wee_angel]

hi what is your opinion of teen mums?

[mindimplode]

Well it varies - My personal opinion (but one that seems to be reflected by the majority of the public these days) is simply this;

Parenthood should not be taken lightly. If the basic structure that a family needs to ensure the upbringing of a healthy, well-educated child isn't in place, then the biggest person to suffer is undoubtedly going to be the child. The argument lies in what constitutes a decent family structure. Some believe that a council house, child support benifits and a few quid of dads doll money is sufficient. However I think that anyone who deals a child this sort of a hand in life is just lazy and selfish.

A mother could give her child all the love in the world, but the harsh reality is that if there is no financial stability availiable to begin with, the future will always look bleak. You would think this would inspire people to become educated, have ambition and succeed in life, but some just don't want to. Example, Vicky Pollard - It's funny cos it's true.

The MOST worrying thing of all is this; Some people idolise the concept of the life of freebies. They strive for benefits and general devolution. They see Vicky Pollard as a role model.

I'm not snobby or badly misinformed on this matter. I live in a council estate and it's horrible to see.

[woofgang]

well said mindimplode! Its not just that though. IMO and generally, people are not mentally and emotionally mature in their teen years and they should be using those years to do their growing up, not taking on a huge responsibility and making life harder for themselves and their child (children)

[El D]

Which ones, the good teen mums or the bad ones?

[woofgang]

lets be clear, I respect good parents no matter what their age, I just think that to do it in your teen years is making things really hard, especially if you are alone

[Gnisy]

Teen mums lose out on their teenage years. And I'm pretty sure most of them would not want to be in that situation since they won't be financially stable enough or mentally prepared enough to take on such a heavy responsibility as being a parent. Most people are still trying to figure out what they want in their lives, some well into their 30s. But to take up the challenge of being a mum instead of taking the easy way out is not easy, and for that, I salute them and the people who offered support and help through their toughest times.

I noticed you din't ask about teen dads.

[Goodsoulette]

Absolutley no difference in the way I feel about other aged mums. I think there are good one and bad ones. My mum had me at 17 and she was loving and caring. I feel that she got stuck with my dad because of this though and would have had a much happier life without him. He left her when I was 17, but since then she met another man remarried and had 2 more children. I dont think anyone is ever truely ready for a baby.

[laurence2]

if its the ones that have no interest in life other than relying on state handouts and thinking babies are barbie dolls dressed up, i have no time whatsoever with them

on the other hand if its totally the opposite to the above, ie back to work eventually, devoted/loving & caring for their child and not relying on others apart from family/friends doing good deeds fot them, i'm sure their make great mums.

congratulations enjoy your motherhood

[4getmenot]

There are good mothers and bad. Some bad mothers can be teenage but some can be older. Age makes no difference to how a mother loves and cares for her children.

[smudge]

Well said Goodsoulette & 4getmenot!

I was a married & became a teen Mum at nearly 18 & was a very good, sensible Mum at that.

Mr Smudge & I went on to bring up two beautiful, intelligent, caring, loving, industrious daughters.

When I was 26 & the girls were well established in their schools, I went back to work & stayed at the same Company for 26 years, working my way up the ladder to becoming a Company Secretary. (I'm not blowing my own trumpet - but it is possible to juggle more than one ball in the air & not all teen Mums should be tarred with the same brush).

You do not have to be in your 20's, 30's or 40's to have a baby, or to be a better Mother!

[smudge]

Meant to include laurence in my answer too.

[laurence2]

thankyou smudge, your post is a prime example of the good of teen mums, unfortunately i cannot say that about my sister-in-laws son & girlfriend, shes 18 got a lovely 6 month old baby girl that we all adore, then wham !! we find out the other day she's 4 months pregnant and their attidude was we could,nt be bothered to take any precautions, none of them work and my view is they don't intend too, so i'm slightly peeved off at the moment hence my previous post.

ps maybe i should let them read this

[smudge]

Hi Laurence - Good job not everyone thinks the same! I can just imagine how you feel about her expecting another baby so soon & with an attitude like that too!

There is exactly 3 years between our daughters.

My husband has always been very hard working & so have I. We have never asked anyone for anything since the day we married & have always saved up to buy anything we needed.

[laurence2]

hi smudge same here, have two boys 12 & 9, 3years 2eeks apart. my wife and i have never been out of work, and have always had the attidude can't afford it can't have it ie holidays etc, we,ve both worked hard to live the lifestyle we have today, and for the life of me i can't make out why people like my sister-in-laws son & girlfriend just want to scrounge of the state.

[smudge]

Hi again Laurence - I hadn't noticed the other thread on Parenting Here so have added my sentiments there too.

[wee_angel]

Hi thank you for answering my question. I would just like to say that although I'm on benifets just now, I plan to go to college in the near future so I can have a career aswell as being a mum. Some people older than me are not fit to be parents, so to say that teenagers are not mature is wrong yes there are some teens that are immature but a lot are capable of looking after themselves and a child. My sister has three children herself and is a great mother but she still finds it hard like any parent. When people told me a baby would change my life I didnt believe it but now I do lol, (this is my third attempt trying to type this in between attending to my baby)sleepless nights, poo nappies and baby sick are all a big part of my life now lol. I don't think anyone is prepared to have kids- you learn when they are born.