One Liners

[PeelerPal]

I used to work in a factory, crushing lemonade cans, it was soda pressing.

It wasn't my first job, I used to be in mountain rescue but I hit rock bottom.

I will never achieve my real dream though, I always wanted to be one of the seven dwarfs but hey ho!

[PeelerPal]

I turned down a job for mastercard, the hours weren't flexible.

[marval]

I trained to be an electrician, but ended up Ohm-less and didn't know Watt to do.

I used to work at an orange juice factory, but I couldn’t concentrate.

[excelsior-1]

i have turned down a job offer from the Disney corporation

because i have been told it's a Mickey Mouse outfit

[DTCwordfan]

I was told that I wouldn't be fit for self-employment as I am always playing with myself.......

[Arksided]

I once fell off the floor and missed.

[PeelerPal]

I applied to work for Max Factor but the 4 interviewers said I wasn't ready yet and should try again next year

[Psybbo]

Don't be Grumpy, look on the bright side, be Happy xx

[marval]

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a
historian until I realized there was no future in it.

[PeelerPal]

I was just watching TV and I turned over and all I could see was the cushions

[DTCwordfan]

I became a 747 pilot in a day, I took a crash course.

[DTCwordfan]

Dr Finlay, "I know you said that you have heartburn, Janice, but you ought'a keep your tits out of the soup."

[PeelerPal]

I put a giant rubber tire around my car the other day, it looks well dodgy

[PeelerPal]

Dancing? quite a common name if you're indian

[aelmpvw]

so i told my wife i'd got a job in a bowling alley. she said "tenpin?" i said, "no, it's a permanent job''

[PeelerPal]

I told my mate I was taking my new bird to India, he said 'Goya'? I said yeah she is how do you know her?