The police helicopter has been circling overhead with its searchlight on. A police car with full blues and siren has just sped down towards the village.
We're quite remote here and its too cold and dark to go wandering off for a nose. How can I find out what's going on?
The last time we had the search chopper circling, it was all over FB! Some loon had a fight with his girlfriend, attacked her (charming) and taken off across the fields when she called the police.
Oh, and he was only wearing his pants. And it was very dark. And it was -3 degrees outside.
I used to be able to find the police radio bands but not for years now. I assumed they'd restricted the frequency. I wish i could i'd love to be listening in.
FB no good as I don't have any "local" friends - besides there are only a few houses in the village and a couple of businesses. I might have to wait until the news feeds pick it up. Nothing on twitter yet.
Walk outside with your hands up shouting
''It's a fair cop guv, I'm the one what dunnit!''
Probably someone has overfilled their dustbin and left lid up!