Father's rights

[Tomijo]

Does a Father have any rights?

A couple is married and getting a divorce,

She is pregnant, about 20 weeks. Does the Father have any rights.

She wants to end pregnancy or give the child up for Adoption. Not allow the FAther to have it.

[noxlumos]

Well if she wants an abortion she'd better hurry up about it as she's horribly near the time limit for a termination and an abortion at that stage will be an awful thing for her.

If she has the child and relinquishes jurisdiction over it then social services may well acknowledge the father's interest ( or possibly not ) depending on the individual circumstances.

Why exactly is she against the father bringing up her child if she personally does not want it? Sounds as if she's very confused and hurt to me, or afraid. Alternatively she could merely be a horrible person, but it takes a special type of nasty creature to have an abortion just to spite their ex partner.

[Tomijo]

She said she loves the baby more. ANd could not stand letting him get what he wants. That the baby would be better off adopted b/c it would be screwed up without a mom and he works alot. She said a single Dad couldn't handle it. And she will never allow him to get the baby. Either he signs his rights way or she will get an abortion. This is her 3rd serious relation. SEcond marriage. She has tow boys from her first relationship. She said she can't figure out why they have ll hurt her so bad. She is 23.

[randomsasha]

As she is married to the father, he does legally have rights. He could apply to adopt the child but she can have a certain amount of say aswell. For example, the fact she might have to allow access for the two boys, could cause her trauma in seeing the new baby. If it's possibe he might not be the father, then that would also affect whether he could adopt, although as her husband, real father or not, he legally has some parental responsibility.

[Tomijo]

He would try and adopt the baby. But she is saying ...

He has to go with her to a lawyer and sign away all rights to this unborn child. If not ... She will have an abortion. The other 2 boys are not his. He loves them as his own. So ... It seems to be a no win situation for the Dad.

[randomsasha]

Well I'm not sure where she'll get an abortion at such a late stage without there being a medical risk, but it is still legal up until 23/24 weeks. A lot of doctors will not however do this as a lot of babies can survive from this stage nowadays. She'd need to find two doctors to refer her before a consultant has a final say. It will most likely be recommended that she give the child up for adoption if she's sure thats what she wants.

[Tomijo]

I thought you could have an abortion all the way through a pregnancy. What about parcial births? I am not sure off all that. She just said ... She would go have one done. Maybe ... It is too late for that. I just don't understand why you would have one ... to keep the Father from having on. He isn't a bad person. SHe just said she would have to sacrifice so he should too.

[randomsasha]

Abortion will only be carried out after 24 weeks if there is an extreme risk to the mother or baby's health. If they are both healthy, no consultant will allow this. I'm not 100% about partial births but I dont think they're legal here. I personally have only heard about it in USA so I could be wrong. The father could seek legal advice to see if he could perhaps stop an abortion if it was for the one reason that she doesnt want him to see it. If the pregnancy does go ahead he shouldnt sign away his rights unless he wants too.

[Tomijo]

Well, that is good news. About her mostlikely being too far along in her pregnancy. I am pretty sure the father could get rights after the baby is born. He is a good guy. He does work alot. But he has a good family to support him. She is not a bad person either. i am in total shock to hear say these things. I would have never thougth she would be capable of having an abortion ...esp not for this reason.

[randomsasha]

If she wants to put the child up for adoption then yes, he will have the choice to adopt it as he is married to the mother. This would be a lot harder for someone who wasnt married. And just because he works a lot, this should not affect any decisions because a lot of mothers/fathers/people who adopt work.

[noxlumos]

I was a single father for quite a while to my five sons, the eldest of whom is deaf. It isn't easy but I managed because I loved my kids. Then I met my second wife whose wonderful and we now have 8 children altogether including her son from a previous realtionship and we're very happy. Tell him not to sign anything that will jeopardise his right to his child.It can all be argued about after she's had the wee mite.Good Luck.

[Bohne]

I have not read all answers, but this lady seems pretty screwed up to me.
I think at 20 weeks she is past the time for an abortion anyway. Used to be 16 weeks, unless the laws have changed.

She should take some quiet time and really think about everything.

I'd rather kill my baby than let the father have it, that's basically what she is saying.
If she had reason to believe that he would be a bad father, then I am sure there are other steps she could take.

[JudgeJ]

Let�s consider this. The lady in question is halfway through a pregnancy. The father of the child (who is, for the moment at least, her husband) and she are splitting up. She already has three failed relationships behind her and two sons, whom she presumably has to care for.

She does not want a third child just for the moment. It takes no imagination to understand why. �Not to worry� says soon-to-be-ex-hubby. �I want the baby so much that I will care for it�. Why should she (or anybody else) believe for one minute that this will be so?

For whatever reason, the lady does not want this baby. It is she who will have to continue the pregnancy, she who will have to give birth to a child she does not want and, almost beyond doubt, she who will eventually have to care for it. Why should anybody else have a say?

[Pippa68]

I can understand someone not wanting a baby ~ I am pro-choice with regards to terminations anyway, so no problem there....however I do have an issue with the woman apparently only threatening abortion if the father doesn't sign away his rights.

That appears to show she is holding the baby to ransom..pretty screwed up indeed!

[dove]

I have not read most of the answers to this, but I think she is being really selfish. If she doesnt want to give birth then she should have had a termination months ago.
Maybe there are deeper issues here, but it certainly sounds like 'If I dont want it, and you do ner ner na ner na'
I suggest your friend needs medical help, sorry to sound so harsh.

[Le Chat]

The question asked is "Does the father have any rights?"

I don't think it is set in stone exactly what his rights would and should be, it all depends on many factors, involving many people and many whims. It seems with cases like this that the father does not have any automatic rights. You wont know the true answer to your question until you travel down that route. I hope it doesn't come to that.

[Tomijo]

The woman involved ... Knows he is a good man and would be a good Father. She is willing to continue the pregnancy and give the baby up. She said ... If she has to sacrifice he should too. She isn't against carrying out the pregnancy. SHe is against the Father getting the baby. She doesn't want it, but doesn't want him to have it either. She said it would make her crazy mad for him to get the baby. She is mad. She started dating a smoker and moved in with him. After about 6 months of dating and all. She said if he didn't stop smoking she would have to end the relationship. He said ... No, I want to quit anyways. SHe then told him she never wants him to do it again. He said he will do his best.

He then quit cold turkey. And ended up smoking once and telling her. She was mad and told him never again.

So, they got married. He smoked again, and now she is leaving. SHe said ... If he failed at a marriage and didn't love her enough then he can't have the baby.

He soley ... Takes care of her boys. She takes then to school and picks them up. He cleans, cooks and plays with them. He tucks them in at night and he gets up with them when they are sick. He loves them as his own.

That is why I know ... And she knows ... He would take care of this baby. That is not the question. SHe doesn't want him to have the baby.

A week or so ago ... She was buying baby stuff and waiting for the next sonogram. She is just so mad ...

Plus, she would not end up taking care of the baby. She could make sure of that. She could sign over her rights. He has a huge, close loving family. He would have a lot of support. Not to mention plenty of friends with kids. He would be a very good Father.

[noxlumos]

I think judge J has totally missed the point.I'm all for women's right to choose if they have a child or if they choose to look after a child once it's born or choose to have it adopted.That's their choice and obviously rightly solely their choice in any right minded society. What you seem to have missed is that this woman is using her unborn babe like a weapon to make her husband's life a misery.Women like that are a menace, if she wanted an abortion fine, but she only want's an abortion if her husband wants rights over the baby. What a maniac.It's not a pro choice issue here, it's a power trip she's on and I hope she sees sense before she hurts herself more than she's hurting her husband.

[Pippa68]

Very well said noxlumos.

You have posted exactly what I really wanted to say.