Do You Ever Look Back

[Psybbo]

at you were and wonder how you ended up here?

[Jan1957]

I wish it did make me stronger... but losing my husband has just made me realise what a waste of space I am.

[boxtops]

Jan - big hug (())

Nobody's a waste of space.

[anneasquith]

jan, that's not true. no one is a waste of space, im sure you contribute to other peoples life in your way .

[sherrardk]

Although on the flip side, if nothing bad has ever happened to you (lucky you) then you can't see how bad it can get for other people (I have one friend who's husband has buggered off, she's doing better now and another who's life is unevenful, makes sympathetic noises but you just know she doesn't get it, also get the feeling if something horrid happened she wouldn't be able to cope (wouldn't wish anything bad on her though)).

[pixie373]

Jan, your husband obviously didn't think so xx

[douglas9401]

Nah, waste of time and effort.

[Peter Pedant]

I think you're right Pixo - my worst mistakes have stemmed from trusting people er I shouldnt have in retrospect

but I think I would trust them again- because not to would be ... suspicious, untrusting and disloyal which i wouldnt particularly like to become.

Oh and I get the bit about adversity refines the soul.

[DaisyNonna]

No, Jan. He would not want you to think that. Yes, you must grieve and then live your life to the utmost, for you and him.

[pixie373]

That's exactly what i meant, sherr. If everything was perfect, we wouldn't understand other people's problems at all. I know having post-natal depression/anxiety has made me much more sympathetic to mental illnesses, because i remember the lack of control.

[trt]

I wish I had told my Ex that I loved her more often!

[pixie373]

I'm the same, peter. I trust people, because i expect them to behave how i would. They don't always.

[sherrardk]

Jan, you are not a waste of space, you are just a bit lost. You will find your way, your place to feel at peace, give it time, x

[Baldric]

Yes, I look back, but no regrets, to be honest if I hadn't joined The Royal Marines when I did I would probably have served time elsewhere, I'm in a very good place right now and reasonably content, count myself lucky.

[Peter Pedant]

pixo: I may have a different view, having spent years working with people who are clearly struggling more than me. It does put things in perspective.

I have on the other hand spent years working with users.
The first one was 1978. I wont say there were herds of them afterwards but shooting them didnt seem to make much difference.
I can now tell one at 50yd (or by their footfall)

[pixie373]

Really? Sounds interesting (apart from the shooting them)

[nungate]

I've been married for over 26 years and still don't now how he managed it
he never asked me! My only regret is that I wasted 10 years not realising that my Mr Right was right there in front of me. Other than one or two minor things I wouldn't change anything

[CokeTulip]

If you can figure out what you really want out of life - that's a bonus (and stop pretending you dont have needs).

You think you have made alot of mistakes but it all works out in the end. (However bad things look) I have made every mistake in the book.

[Slapshot]

I look back and regret quite a lot of what I've done and roads I should maybe have taken but I have my wife and soul mate and two great kids and everything thats gone before has made us stronger. Might change somethings but not everything!