Nappies at Bed Time

[Kazzarooney]

Hi Abers

My son has just turned 4 and still wears a nappy at night. We have had perhaps 1 or 2 dry nights in the last 3 months but other than that he just wets the bed. I have put a potty next to his bed and lift him onto it before I go to bed but he still doesnt seem to wake up by himself when he needs to go! My daughter is 12 and I dont remember any problems with her. The reason for the potty is that he is scared to go to the toilet on his own, although he's not waking up to use it on his own anyway. When he's soaked he climbs in with me. Any tips would be great. Thank you.

[andy-hughes]

Perhaps your night-time routine needs adjustment?

Don't give your son anything to drink after six at night, just a sip of water before he goes to bed. His fear of using the toilet alone needs to be explored, because this is probably why he is ignoring the signal to urinate - and at four it will certainly be there - and preferring to conciously urinate into his nappy.

Try letting him sleep without a nappy - plenty of 'big boys sleep without them ...' praise - and wake him every couple of hours through the night and take him to the toilet. This will get him used to feeling his bladder full, and not choosing to let it go without getting out of bed.

After a couple of nights, take him to the toilet, and stand by the door, then night by night, move away from the door, so he knows you are there, but he is effectively using the toilet on his own.

What you are bulding is the twin system of your son recognising the need to use the toilet, and using it by himself.

it will take a few nights, loss of sleep for you for a while, but in the end, he will be able to go by himself.

The key is patience, encouragement and praise. make light of 'accidents', lay the praise on with a trowel, and you will get the response you need.

[Sparkles3]

I know it can be expensive, but does it matter if he continues to wear a nappy at night time for a bit longer? Provided he's dry during the day, perhaps you should just wait until he says he doesn't want to wear nappies anymore (within reason of course!). Nappies for night time are available in very big sizes so I don't think that your son is by any means unusual in this. However frustrating it is for you, it must be far worse having to change the bed every night and maybe taking the pressure off might resolve the situation by itself. Good luck!

[dtr123]

Hi
My son was 4 at xmas and we have just put him into "big boy pants" at night. There is no rush, just try to give him encouragement and dont shout when he wets. (not that i think you would )
Best of luck and high fives for the big man all round.

[JustSia]

I presume your son stays dry during the day.

It has been said if the child is able to stay dry during the day he/she learned how to contol the bladder so should really be able to go dry throught the night.

I am not a psychologist, and I am not trying to make assumptions, just a thought.

It could be purely an attention seeking. Especially if you say once he wets the bed he climbs in with you. Stop that routine. Reward him and praise him during the day for using the toilet. Let him know how proud you are.

Unfortunately during the night, you letting him in the bed also acts as a reward and sends out wrong signals to him. So you have to just act as nothing happend. Change the nappy or the bedding. And put him back to sleep in his own bed, without any extra comforting. In and out. I know it sounds tough and a lot of work but it pays in the end. Sooner or later he will realise that by wetting himself he doesn't attract any extra attention and doesn't actually gain anything, and would chose a proper night sleep instead.

It is only an idea but worth a try. Besides it's still quite normal for that age, but you wouldn't want to start any bad habbits. And at least that way you will eliminate psychological issues and if the problem persists can then concentrate on other interventions.

Good Luck.

S.

S

[EssJay1]

I agree with Sparkles8. Why are you concerned? There's no hard and fast rule when children should be out of nappies at night - but I am suspicious.
If he is sleeping so soundly that he can't feel his wee signals then how is he waking up? Modern nappies are so efficient at locking away the wetness, he can't really be uncomfortable. I would agree with Justsia, he's after attention and you reward him wetting himself by allowing him into bed with you. A chnage of routine after he's wet himself is definitely required.
Good luck.

[Hgrove]

My daughter informed me that she would stop wearing disposable pants at night when she turned 5... and she did. I do believe boys take longer. I don't think there is anything to worry about.

[diana.m]

My first boy dry in day just after 2yrs age (Cant remember exactly) nappiless by three but still had occasional accidents till maybe 5yrs. Second son dry in day and dry in night two wks thereafter again around two years of age. (Children dont have physical ability to be dry till about two its to do with natural development etc) I was much bolder second time around and as soon as he was dry in day took nappies off at night, we had less accidents, he only wet bed maybe two three times thereafter. I encourage plenty fliuids in day avoid coke and too much blackcurrent as these drinks have diuretic effect (make you pee more). If drink well throughout the day urine production will be less in the night. Bladder can hold more of less concentrated urine than it can concentrated urine.

Yes no need to get anxious he only 4, however there is normally no reason why a 4yr old can not hold urine till morning. He just needs to learn. I dont think waking him too often in the night to go to toilet is a good idea because he will not learn to hold is wee in that way. If you continue to have problems you could buy one of those devices that wakes person as soon as drop of urine touches it, that way he will naturally wake up when his body function dictates. I know if you busy mum washing bed linen is very time consuming. Dunelm sell reasonable priced waterproof mattress covers. Good luck, but please there is really no need to worry. Hopefully by the time he is old enough for sleepovers he willbe dry at night.

[vida]

Hi

My son has just turned 3 and has been wearing proper pants for about 7 months but was wearing pull ups at night until about 1 month ago when he said he didn't want them anymore. The trouble is that if he is in a deep sleep he doesn't wake to go to the bathroom and wets the bed,so what i find works wonders is when I go to bed between 11 and 12 I pick him up and put him on the toilet and he goes for a wee and the good thing is he dosn't even wake up and is dry in the morning.

Good Luck

[Mamazook]

I wouldn't worry, my daughter didn't come out of nappies at night until she was about 5 1/2. Then she was just ready to do it. If you want to you can try those Pampers mats that you put under the sheets.

Mamazook