>>>When I go into safe mode will I be able to see the Maleware icon to start it ?
Probably. If not, you can find it from Start > All programs.
>>>you say go to `Add or Remove Programmes`do you mean in the Control Panel?
Yes (although you need to go via 'Programs & Features in Windows 7).
>>>How do I know what is suspicious?
Look for anything that was installed around the date that the problem first occurred (and that you don't remember installing yourself).
>>>Same goes for Add-Ons
Most people won't have many add-ons (if any at all). So you should easily be able to see if there's anything there you don't need. (If in doubt just choose the 'disable', rather than 'remove', option. Then you can enable it again later if you want to).
>>>I keep getting a pop up for updating Java,but when I try to,it won`t
Uninstall Java:
http://www.java.com/en/download/help/uninstall_java.xml
Then restart your computer and reinstall it:
http://java.com/en/download/help/download_options.xml#windows