Which Way Do I Go??

[crazygirly]

Hi All

I hope im in the right place to ask my question and i hope you can help me. i will try my best to make it short and erm......its not so sweet.

I have been in a relationship with my partner for 11 years. he lives with me. I am 36, he is 41. Back in August of this year, i began to have niggles that maybe he was involved with someone else. He has told me that there never has nor will there be another woman in his life. I have sat back since August and simply took note of the pattern of his life etc. (I havent made the assumption of his infideity on the fact of what he does when he is not working. There is much more but too much to put down here all in one). I do welcome any questions regarding my situation, if it would help conclude this mess. Basically he has been secretly meeting up with a woman that lives at the back of my yard. She is polish. She is 25. She has been given a key to my house for when i am fast asleep, she has been given the OK to enter my house. (i know this as i have sat quiet, even pretended to be asleep. I have audio recordings of.....well i will let you guess what i hear. I have of late presented him with my evidence and still he denies it all. I have spoken with the polish girl who has admitted seeing my partner, once again, all recorded.

I am very aware that i have been downstairs on my computer or watching TV, thinking my partner was fast asleep when he has had company upstairs with him.

Here is the shocking part, i have a 7 month old little boy to my partner. i experienced a very bad birth via caesarean section and lost 2.5 litres of blood and on top of that, when i was in the reccovery room, medical staff couldnt get my temperature down, so as you can imagine, i had a tough time bringing my little boy into the world. He is my first and so precious. When i first asked my partner about my thoughts, he said i must be suffering from post natal depression. He even sent his mum round to tell me i needed to see the doctor for a chat and that her son, my partner was concerned for me and the baby. I was left on my own to bring my first baby up for the first 3 months or so as i dont have family that live close by. But guess what....my partner was not with me. he had moved out after conveniently causing an argument all to his advantage . After moving out, my partner would come round to see our son, when it suited him. I would take chance whilst my partner was here minding our son, i would nip to asda or tesco to get food shopping etc in.

The several audio recordings i have, my partner can be heard talking to our son, then on the aduio there is sounds of kissing, stiflled moans, squelching fast sounds, a woman moaning with pleasure but trying not to be heard. The TV is turned up louder than normal. But the one thing that really makes me sick is the fact that my precious, only child is in the very same room as all this is happening!

Does anyone out there know if im able to do anything about all this as regards some form of prosecution, im not sure if i have a case for possibly neglect of some sort, commited by my partner whilst i have been out shopping, thinking i was leaving my baby in very good care.

Please help and as i said above, please feel free to ask me anything about this situation, i will not be offended.

Many thanks.

[CheekyChops]

I'm sorry, it must be a horrible situation for you but I would stop thinking about prosecution because he hasn't actually done anything to be prosecuted for has he. He hasn't neglected your baby, yes I realise that he was 'busy' whilst the child was in his care, but plenty of people do this!

This is no kind of relationship to be in though, how dare he have another woman upstairs whilst you are downstairs watching TV or on the computer? Did you not realise she was there?

I think you need to change your locks and kick him out ASAP. He is taking the mickey and using you.

[Brinjal]

Why haven't confronted him. If I was down stairs and heard suspicious noises up stairs and knowing that he was up there I would be straight up and ask What The Funicular.

[China Doll]

If the child is in the room at the same time as these apparent sexual encounters then you could report that....although be prepared to answer questions on why you've let it go on so long if that is the case.

[Old_Geezer]

What advice do you need about ending a partnership ?
You seem to have seperated. Why does he have the key to your doorlock ?
Maybe divorced folk here can explain how one agrees access to children and stuff like that.

[pusskin]

Take the bull by the horns and confront him. Stand up to him now!

[joko]

having sex in the same room as a newborn is not illegal.
it causes the baby no harm or neglect - they would be totally unaware what was going on and presumably not even have seen them if he was in a cot - the baby would only have heard what you did - but not understood it obviously.
they were still in the same room so no harm could have come to him.

i agree with the others - forget the legal stuff and just get him out - he is taking you for a fool.
you have evidence of what he has done so he can deny it all he wants but you know what you heard.

he is doing this because you are letting him ... or rather not stopping him ... get him out.

[FredPuli43]

I understand all this, and have seen it many times, but you are unwittingly being treated like a doormat. You have to tell him to clear off. You owe it to yourself to do so.

[joel4925]

kick the cheater out,once a cheater allways a cheater

[joel4925]

sounds like he doesn't respect you or your child,he's having his cake and eating it too.time to get a backbone and do whats right for you and your child