Nursery Rhymes/ Health+ Safety

[gary baldy]

I read in the Daily Mail today (so it must be true) that a woman who broke into someones house and burnt her mouth on some hot porridge is suing the family involved. Despite breaking two chairs and sleeping in the family beds the girl, a Miss G Locks, is suing the head of the household Mr Bear. Mr Bear said today "Its political correctness gone mad".
This follows on from the family of an old man suing the NHS because he went to bed and banged his head and didnt get up in the morning.

[jake-the-peg]

You sure that waas the Daily Mail?

sounds like a Sky News story to me!

Bet it's Gordon's fault!

[ludwig]

It's insanity gone mad. I blame Mr Ronald Masterson of Stoke on Trent, who wishes to remain anonymous.

[Whickerman]

I blame the actor Simon Callow, Her Majesty Queen Sonja of Norway, Jacob's Biscuits, and a small but likeable carrot called Trevor.

[BigMac]

And what about the cost to us taxpayers of the old woman who lived in the shoe? She had so many children she didn't know what to do (fault of Government sex education in schools and/or lack of morality). But having beaten them she's now been arrested (further tax payer cost, swimming pool and climbing walll equipped prison, no doubt) and the children will all have to be taken into care where the nanny state can let them down still further by ensuring they are abused and then it will prevent us from going out to lynch paediatricians... how come they can stop right-minded people but the criminals can always get away with it, eh?

[gary baldy]

I'll never forget how annoyed i was to hear that a Mr H D Clock had been charged with striking a mouse that had he had found in his clock. This mouse was trespassing in his clock and was an illegal immigrant having come in via the channel tunnel from Amsterdam where he could be found there, on the stair, right there. Who is the victim here? Havent the authorities got better things to do?
I heard that all the Kings horse and all the Kings Men were sent out to deal with an incident involving someone who fell off a wall. I have to wait for months for the police to respond if someone breaks in to my house but they go rushing round if a fat fella falls off a wall!
I blame Sir Ian Blair!

[jno]

regrettably, concerns about the incidence of bird flu caused by poultry living too close to humans have resulted in a ban on goosey ganders wandering into my lady's chamber.

[ronnie963]

Humpty was pushed!!!

[gary baldy]

I blame foxy loxy myself!
Repeal the hunting ban now!
The world has gone mad (and the sky is falling in aswell apparently)

[BigMac]

And as for Wee Willy Winkie...

[ludwig]

I blame Brian May's hairdresser, Tiny Clanger, Dido, people with better cars than me and whoever's controlling Gordon Brown's jaw.

[livk]

leave eyebrow out of it.

Was it the Daily Mail who reported Jack and Jill had been taken into care by their local council, and that the Duke of York was now locked up in the army glasshouse in Aldershot for excessively making the troops in his command march?

[Oneeyedvic]

Please may I remind people:

"Please note: Anyone asking about or attempting to name people involved in legal cases where injunctions or anonymity are in place will have their accounts terminated"

I would like to point out that Miss G Locks should not be named. I wonder if, since I have named her, I will also be termina...

[netibiza]

Sounds like Fairy stories to me....................

[brachiopod]

ronnie963 - you are mistaken - Humpty fell down the stairs..... at least that's what they said in that Stoke Newington Police* report......

(* - A notorious (in the 70's /80's) North London branch of the Met)