viv38 - I don't know tour dog - but I know him better than you do because I would not allow my love for any animal to blind myself to the fact that that is what he is an animal.
He is not 'part of the family', in his eyes, he is part of the pack, and any dog, even the most docile and loving dog, is a pack animal, and his instincts will override his love any day. It's genetic, it's what he is, and if you deny what he is, then you are not respecting and loving him as you should.
Don't put him in a situation where he feels his pack status is threatened, and that is for him to know, not you.
Because he is a dog, he won't sit down over a cuppa and talk it over with you, he will act and react when is instinct tells him - so if you love him, don't let him be in that situation.
I do not demonize dogs.
I do however, accept them for what they are, and not what I would like to make them.
They are pack animals, and that is something you and I cannot change - and if you are going to own and love a dog, then you owe it to him, and your family, to accept that is what he is, and live around it - not pretend that because he is lovely and docile that his instincts are not there.
They are there - which is why people find out the hard - and sometimes tragic way.