The One That Makes You Laugh...always.

[sp1814]

Do you have a comedy line which makes you laugh every time you hear it...no matter how many times you've heard it before?

My personal favourite is "Infamy, imfamy...they've got it in for me" from Carry On Cleo, but I also have a soft spot for "The long winter evenings must just fly by" from Blackadder and from Airplane:

Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

What are yours?

[mallyh]

dads army ......don't tell them your name pike

[Davethedog]

Only Fools and horses.

Rodney - Why do you call me Dave, Trig’ - My name’s not Dave, Its Rodney
Trigger - Are you sure
Rodney - Yes, I’ve checked it on my birth certificate and everything, its definitely Rodney.
Trigger - So what’s Dave, a Nickname ‘like
Rodney - No - you’re the only person who calls me Dave, everybody else calls me Rodney - and the reason they call me Rodney, is because Rodney is my name.
Trigger - Well, I shall have to get used to calling Rodney from now on.
Rodney - Thank you
Trigger - How long are you going to be Baz, Me and Dave haven’t got all day.

[marval]

Ronnie Barker on The Two Ronnies.

The search for the man who terrorises nudist camps with a bacon slicer goes on. Inspector Lemuel Jones had a tip-off this morning, but hopes to be back on duty tomorrow

[sp1814]

EdmundD

Never seen the film, but that line is PURE GENIUS!!!

[sp1814]

marval

Read that with Ronnie Barker's voice in my head. They had some amazing writers on that show.

[Frank97]

Blackadder II
The Baby Eating Bishop of Bath and Wells: "You fiend! Never have I encountered such corrupt and foul-minded perversity! Have you ever considered a career in the Church?"

[Sipowicz]

Porridge.
Doctor, "Can you fill that bottle" (urine sample)
Fletcher, "What, from here?"

[sp1814]

Frank97

Yes...Blackadder is responsible for more than it's fair share of classic one-liners.

From Blackadder III, "So what was the duck impression for?"

If you know your Blackadder, you'll know the scene.

[emmie]

anything by the wonderful Tommy Cooper

Driver
8 • A drunk was driving his car down a one-way street when a policeman stopped him. The cop said, 'Didn't you see the arrows?' He said, 'Arrows? I didn't even see the Indians.'

[marval]

This time Ronnie Corbett

After a series of crimes in the Glasgow area, Chief Inspector McTavish has announced that he's looking for a man with one eye. If he doesn't find him, he's going to use both eyes.

[vulcan42]

In Father Ted, Pat Mustard has left a bomb on the milk float which Dougal is driving. Ted pulls along side of the float and shouts to Dougal "There's a bomb on board".
Dougal: "Who's that for then?"

[Davethedog]

I was going to post the Campdown ladies (you tube) from Blazing Saddles but its got an awful lot of naughty words in it

[237SJ]

From Carry on up the Khyber

The Khasi of Kalabar (Kenneth Williams): May the benevolence of the god Shivoo bring blessings on your house
Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond (Sid James): And on yours
The Khasi: And may his wisdom bring success in all your undertakings
Sir Sid: And in yours
The Khasi: And may his radiance light up your life
Sir Sid: And up yours!

[DTCwordfan]

"You stupid woman" (Hallo Hallo)

[emmie]

or Michelle, i will say zeez only once,

Renee rolls eyes, and much more,

my all time favourite show

[jeffa]

"From Blackadder III, "So what was the duck impression for?"
If you know your Blackadder, you'll know the scene."

I know the scene very well. You may care to revisit it, though... :-)

[pixie373]

Chicken impression!!! Makes me laugh every time.
definitely lots of Blackadder ones and Peter Sellers in the Pink Panther films.

[Psybbo]

Les Dawson hoisting up his boobs for a gossip with Roy Barraclough

[EdmundD]

Andy Capp

Chalkie: You coming out for a pint, Andy>
Andy: Can't, I'm skint.
Chalkie: But you only got your dole money this morning!
Andy: I know but the wife's frittered it all away on food and rent.