Heavy smoking Dad

[milly143]

My Dad is a really really heavy smoker. He wont tell me how many he smokes a day because he is 'embarrased to admit it' but I'm sure its between 40-60 a day. Last night he came home and told me how proud he was of himself as he had smoked half yesterday then he would normally smoke. It's very clear that smoking so much for so long (at least 30 years) has effected his health and I would love him to give up completely. He said yesterday he would quit were it not for the fact that everyone he works with smokes and you can smoke anywhere at work (so there is nowhere he could go which would be smoke free). He also spends most of his day driving as his job and says he chain smokes through boredom. Is there anything I could do that would persuade him to try and quit completely. I know he did it for a year once and said it was easy, he just didnt want to smoke any more. I really worry about his health.

[dippy_dumbo]

My dad is exactly the same Milly. He's been smoking for the same amount of time, and claims that if no damage has been done so far, then it won't hurt to carry on for the next 30 years. What a loads of @�%$&*(^! Of course it's going to affect his body. What confuses me is that none of his close friends smoke either, so it's not as if he'd be tortured with their smoke should he decide to give up. I've tried many times to get him to give it up but it never works. He tried to cut down but that idea soon went out the window.

[mfewell]

Buy him a packet of Nicotinell chewing gum, 4mg, fruit flavour and plead with him to take just one day off work and spend that one day concentrating on not smoking. Ask him to drive out into the country, without cigarettes or matches, long walk, and just for one day, not smoke.

[Buggsbird21]

Hi Milly, if someone wants to quit smoking, they have to really want to. By the sound of it your dad is making excuses not to try because its scary trying to give up (I gave up 6 months ago so I know its hard). Maybe you could suggest hypnosis? I've heard this can work. I tried a million times to quit using patches, gum, everything I could think of. Eventually it was a book that helped me quit. The book is by Allen Carr called Easyway To Stop Smoking and I read it and havent smoked since. Maybe he can give that a shot? You should certainly let your dad know how worried you are about him and reassure him you will help as much as you can if he decides to give it a try. Hope it works out, good luck! x

[trionam]

I also know how you feel my dad used to smoke up to 60 a day he is now off them a year. for years I begged and pleaded with him to give up but it only hit him when my uncle died of lung cancer a year ago and he hasnt had a cigarette since, it helps that there is no smoking in bars over here so he can still go for a pint without everyone smoking around him, My husband also smokes but very little since the smoking ban as he cant smoke in the company van or in the pub and he wont smoke in thr house beacuse of me and our daughter. If a similar ban is introduced over there it could help your father and lots of smokers reduce their smoking and eventually give up.

[Doolallygirl]

These people are all right.  You do need to stop yourself if you are a smoker before quitting otherwise it won't succeed.  I'm a smoker myself and none of my family smoke and I can't smoke at home because of that but I just use it as as excuse to get out of the house sometimes!  My friend used the Allen Carr book and she has been off cigarettes for ages now.  It seemed to really work for her.  I think (don't quote me on it though!) that people need a substitute for a cigarette.  Perhaps buy him a huge pack of chewing gum and suggest he chews when he feels the urge for a cigarette.  I hope you praised him when he came home and said he had smoked half of the normal amount, that is a major major cutback when he is smoking so much normally.  Every day maybe he could cut down a little bit more.  Cold turkey doesnt work in a large percentage of people!  Or try a lighter brand to start with.  Maybe show him a picture of a diseased lung.  That always grossed me out at school (not enough to stop me smoking though!).  Tell him that his lungs are in that state now.  Tell him that you love him and that you want him to be around to see a big event in your life like getting married or having children.  Emotionally break him down if you have to!  He is lucky to have someone around him that cares enough about him to make him want to stop!

[thebigchill]

Print out some pictures of the effects of smoking, eg lung cancer, emphysema, and give them to him. Try to convince him to carry them about and look at them everytime he feels like having a cigarette. It worked for my friend, it just doesnt work on me.

[BearBellyUK]

I have recently quit smoking myself, I used patches and thought they really helped, it's been a month now.  I smoked 30-40 a day for the last 12 years, so it is possible.  The only problem I've found is the munchies!

Your Dad has to want to quit for himself, there are no two ways about it.

I wish you, and him, all the best, and hope that he can come to the correct decision himself.