The right thing to say at a funeral

[stevie-p]

What is the right thing to say to the berieved at a funeral,when you havent seen them for awhile???

It may sound a daft question,but you cant exactly go up to them and say..how are you,or how you doing...I have this sad task to perform shortly,and im lost for the right words :(

[ermintrude35]

..keep it short and simple, something like "I was so sorry to hear of your loss, how are you coping? " ...

[pugwash52]

It's very difficult to plan what to say at a time like this.I've often tried to think what to say and when the time comes, I've said something completely different. Sometimes a hug is all that is needed. Just follow your instincts, and I hope all will go well for you at such a sad time.

[Jennykins]

When the moment came to where I had to say something to the person I would give them a hug and say something like " you stay strong ok " and just smile at them and see where it leads.. it may just end there with a smile ... Or maybe even a hand shake and say something like .. "what a beautiful service... its great to see so many faces again. (so&so) sure had alot of people that cared for them" That may lead the person into saying something like " ya its great to see bob and maggie again.. " ya know ... small talk .. there will be lots of heavy talk ... You dont need to be the one to be doing it right...

GOOD LUCK !!!!! JEN

[joko]

i think most people will realise that if someone does say some "pleasantry" without thinking, thats its just because they are nervous and have just blurted out the wrong thing, and they will know not to take offence by it.

as long as you don't start cracking jokes, i wouldn't worry too much.

[LindaBon]

When I lost my husband, I had a couple of people who said things like 'Well, you look OK!'

I certainly didn't feel OK and it didn't help!

I agree with Ermintrude, keep it short and simple and a hug if you feel comfortable with that.

[tigilou]

one that wound me up at my nans was "its for the best". The amount of times i have heard people say this and it makes me cringe how is it best? Good luck anyway

[zara 4]

Oooh I done that once at my boyfriends funeral he'd died in a motorcycle accident,I got out of the car at the church saw his sister and said,,,Hi are you alright,with a big smile on my face,I felt awful,it may not sound too bad but what a stupid thing to say at her brothers funeral,the smile was just nerves!

[joko]

and don't ever say they've had a good innings!!

[stevie-p]

Thanks all...