Sqad...this Is Not A Very Good Question But One I Would Like To Know............

[lilacben]

a very good friend of mine has brain tumors and was told by the hospital after her latest scan some bad news. They have told her the tumor she has had got bigger and there are new ones now. So there is no more they can do for her. The given time is two months or less. My question is what to expect in these few weeks that are left.? Her husband is leaving work to be her full time carer until the end. We do not live very close but I must get to see her before it is too late. Many thanks

[237SJ]

I`m not Sqad but I would think it depends in which part of the brain the tumour/s are. My friend and neighbour had cancer in her brain that had spread from the lung and it affected her motor function. Another person I know had a lot of confusion caused by the same. If you know which part of the brain is affected, there is info (if you scroll down) here

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Cancertypes/Brain/Symptomsdiagnosis/Symptoms.aspx

[marval]

I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear that. I am sure she will be pleased to see you.

[lilacben]

marvel, thankyou...we have known each other for 46 years now since we was teenagers. Plus she is my daughters Godmother and I am to her two as well.
I cannot get my head around it since her husband told me this morning. xx

[Sqad]

I agree with 237, these brain tumours are secondaries and have spread from somewhere else in the body and her final symptoms will depend on which predominates....... the primary tumour or the secondaries.

With a bit of luck it will be the secondaries in which case she will go into a coma and die, but otherwise she may develop vomiting and blindness due to raised intracranial pressure.......all difficult to predict.

The worst scenario is if she dies of the primary tumour on which case her end will be prolonged.

Terminal care with drugs will be essential in her case

[lilacben]

Many thankyous to everyone who answered.
Sqad, The first once they found was on her lung and then there was two on her brain. Now they seem to have found more new ones plus the other ones have grown. I know asking my question was like how long is a piece of string..as noone can really tell but you have now given me an idea of how long I should live it before my visit. Many thanks to you . Brenda xx

[Mamyalynne]

lilac - you have had some very straight advice and I agree with it all. From a personal viewpoint, my Husband's Brain tumours were secondary ones and from the moment they said they could do no more - he declined quite quickly. No need for details here.

See your dear friend as soon as you are able and she will enjoy your visit, hard times.

Take care. x

[lilacben]

Mamyalanne,

Thankyou so much and I am so sorry for your loss. Reading my question must have been so hard on you, I am sorry..xx
I will take heed of it however and make arrangements as soon as I can now to see her. My head will still not get around it ...I just do not know what to say to her or her husband.. My usual reaction is to carry on as if nothing is wrong ..but I know she knows so that makes it as if I am very hard. Am I wrong to be worried about what to say.?
thinking of you , Brenda xx

[Mamyalynne]

Oh Brenda, no need at all to apologise to me , it is only by asking that we get a better idea - as regards what to say, well having known her so long, I think it will come naturally.

Go with her mood, if she wants to rant, let her, or weep, hold her , or laugh at times gone by - don't try to pre-plan your conversation - let it happen as it happens.

Lynne.x

[boxtops]

I've worked in a hospice, lilac, and the staff said the best thing I could was just to talk to the patients about day to day things, like the weather, and fashion, and movies, and holidays, and football.... everyone else talks to the ill person about their health, it's good for people they've known and loved just to be normal.

[2sp_]

We've just fount out similar news about my Auntie, so I can understand how you feel.

I'm hoping to go and see my Auntie as soon as possible, before she looses her memories and can't recognise people (we've been warned that could happen). All I can say is that do go and see her as soon as you can, just let her lead the conversation. If she wants to reminisce about the old days or how you met, then let her. If she needs to cry or scream or rant about how unfair it all is let her.

I honestly don't think you can say the wrong thing. Nature/God/life (what ever you believe in) has dealt her a pretty crappy hand. Nothing you say can make that worse. Going to see her, and being there for her will be more than enough.

I'm so sorry for you and your friend. xx