A difficult time for a friend....

[SAH]

My best friend's brother is emigrating next month and I'm really worried about how it's all affecting her. She told me recently that it feels like a bereavement at the moment and she likened it to the period between when someone dies but hasn't yet been buried. She's really worrying me and I'd like to know what's the best way of helping her through this difficult time, because I'm at a complete loss about how best to behave around her.

[woofgang]

SAH the most important thing is to be there and listen and keep listening. Sometimes it can help to say positive things like how cheap airfares are these days and keeping in touch with web chat and emails, but iright now it may be that she needs you more to just listen to how sad she is. She is right in that it is a bereavement. She needs to give herself time to grieve for the relationship with her brother which she had before she can focus on the new relationship that she will undoubtedly have with him in the future. If you feel, as you may well, that you can't cope with it on your own, or if you are seriously concerned about her well being, ie you think that she might attempt self harm, then you could persuade her to talk to her Pastor or Church leader or possibly her GP. Your GP would also know whether counselling from a professional would be available.You don't say how old you both are, if you are at school or college, do you have access to counselling or pastoral care there from a tutor? If she is a t work, it may be that her employer offers the opportunity to see a counsellor. She is lucky to have such a good, concerned friend.

[SAH]

Thanks for the advice woofgang, I hope it doesn't get to the stage of self harm, but I'll certainly be keeping a close eye on her in the next few months. Oh and as far as our ages are concerned, let's just say we're both in our thirties!! Thanks again.

[woofgang]

You're welcome