Husband, Kids, Mothers Dog

[sheri1980]

Hi All, bit complicated but basically I split with husband, we have 3 kids, youngest is 2.
Husband lives with his mum and I have kids at mine with me. Husbands mother does not allow him to have kids over much but I believe this is about to change as I am now not having him stay overnight with us at weekends, for complicated reasons (he was emotionally abusive to me, plus other reasons).
So anyway, his mums dog is a little terrier, she is about 9 yrs old and isn't keen on our 2 yr old. She gets skitty, and shakes when he is around, so his mum goes on a bit if husband takes our son round there on occasions. So this as I said is about to change, as he will have no option now but to take them there.
I am VERY concerned that this dog could turn if upset by our son and bite him, I have noticed that they leave our son on the sofa with the tv and dogs running around.
He has said oh the dog would never do that, but I am not convinced, and am not happy about our son spending time there with the dog as it is.
Is there any legal grounds I can take on this or anything I can do that would prevent him taking our son there when the dog is around please?
I am more than happy for him to see his dad, and would not want to stop this even though I have a bad relationship with the ex.
Many thanks.

[sandyRoe]

Anyone who says a dog would never bite is wrong. Any dog might bite.

[Prudie]

Have you got professional/legal help dealing with this split? Court Welfare Officer (or whatever they may be called now)? They should help you come to some arrangement that satisfies both sides. Perhaps your ex could only see his children at some neutral place? The dog may worry you but it's not really up to your ex's mother to farm the dog off somewhere to suit your kids. Some grandmothers would do it without thinking but there is nothing to say she has to put the chldren first IMO.

[tamborine]

Any dog that attacks a child or person can be put down and owner of pet prosecuted. I dont think ur MIL will risk that.

[woofgang]

poor little dog!

[sheri1980]

She is a lovely dog bless her, but old and set in her ways, bringing a 2 yr old into her house will upset her, its not her fault.
I dont even leave our dog in same room with him if im not there, I trust him 99.9% but u can never say never.
MyMIL puts everything else before her grandchildren, inc the dog.

[murraymints]

I would advise ex that he may only see kids in neutral setting or if the dog in question is safely away !!

[woofgang]

With respect, she doesn't if she doesn't take care to keep the dog and your littlie apart. She is risking the dog's life! I love my dogs. They are big boisterous idiots. They weren't brought up around kids because we have none so I keep them well away from kids because I need to protect my dogs AND kids.
Would there be any value do you think in talking to your MIL about this and ganging up with her against your ex over it?

[sheri1980]

my MIL doesn't want the kids there, she cant handle change and kids make a bit of noise and change her day too much. shes not had much to do with them, even though she lives about 5 mils away. but the ex cant come here now, so he will have to take them there at some point, MIL will not shut the dogaway, put it out, in garden or in any way put herself out for the kids.
example... 2 yr old was in a&e with chest infection and asthma attack. I called the ex, MIL answered, I explained what was happening and that someone needed to collect the 11 yr old from school. MIL informed me that ex couldn't as she needed the car for something (not important) and I had to find someone else to do it.

[woofgang]

Well she doesn't want the kids there, you don't want the kids there, you have that much in common. Personally if I were her I wouldn't put my dogs out on the garden or out of the way for kids either....but then I would be being clear that the kids are your ex's responsibility and not mine.

[black_cat51]

"I am more than happy for him to see his dad, and would not want to stop this"
problem is, of course that you are. By banning him from seeing them at your house AND banning him from seeing them at his house, he's not got much other choice (except to take them out, and in all honesty, from what you have said before, i gather he/you probably doesn't have the money to do that every time he wants to see them)
I can absolutely see what you are saying about the dog - one would hope that as a parent your ex could also be sensible and see the danger, but there is no point in wishing things were different that they are. I'm not sure what the circumstances preventing him from coming to you are, but if you don't want to see him, couldn't you go out, and leave him at there with the children?

[sheri1980]

He was abusive, not physically but in other ways.
I could go out I guess.

[black_cat51]

i suppose it would just seem like the best solution (until the child is at least older)

[dancecaller]

If he only lives 5 miles away he doesn't need to stay overnight, he can put the children to bed before you come back.
It's not ideal, you would be having to make all the sacrifices, but better that than an injured child, or your son blaming you in the future for stopping him seeing his Dad.

But it might be good to talk things through with your ex and Relate, Citizens Advice (or as Prudie suggests a Court Welfare officer).

Will he be living with his mother permanently or will this resolve itself?