child i havent seen in 14 years

[dmaxxx]

o have a daughter who is 17 ,i havent seen her in 14 yrs,,me and her mum were young,,had bad relationship with her mum,,i was in prison in and out,,i never got to form a bond with my kid,,,now im settled,,,ive grown up and would like to see her.i think her mums family have put her against me..is it est to let go,or get a essage to her? i have another little girl who i see every week and who is my world..plz help

[doomey!]

You should see her, or at least try to conntact her, regardless of your past you have legal rights to do so.

Do not rush a relationship though, it will take time to build.

[kipchik]

I agree with doomey! you do have legal rights,She may contact you when she can if not i think its worth seeing someone about it! But she probably will need some time to get her head around it,so will her mother!

[Bohne]

Give her the opportunity to see you, when and if she wants to.
Be available, but don't push her.

You might have rights as her biological father, but being absent for 14 years, I can imagine that she's not too keen on meeting you for now.

[noxlumos]

Write her a letter and explain exactly what you've just done to us. Her mum's family may not be very keen on you as may not her mother but it gives her the chance if she should wish to take it. I wouldn't get heavy with solicitors etc to be honest as I think that will paint you in a negative light to her, as being heavy handed and controlling. Just send birthday and christmas cards even if she doesn't reply and keep it light and even and let her know that whenever she wants to you'll be there to talk to her and hopefully get to know her.Hope you get on ok:)

[dancealot13]

Well dmaxxx, You need to proove yourself to her. She needs to hear your story,..everything. No matter how hard it may seem. Tell her why you were in jail, how you got there, and what you learned from it. But most of all, she's going to want to hear why you haven't had contact with her in 14 years. And the biggest mistake you could make is to blame it on her mother or something ridiculous such as "I didn't think you'd want to hear from me?. Tell her you made mistakes, and you want to fix them.

As for the mums family,well there's nothing you can do about that. People are going to think what they want. And you shouldn't have to prove yourself so much to them.

You can make this a better situation. Just be real with her. xxcheers

[morg_monster]

Make sure you tell her about her half sister - I'm sure she'd love to meet her.

I'd just stay in touch now as the others say, don't force it, soon she will be 18 and able to do exactly what she wants (well she pretty much can now, but anyway...). Even if her family have turned her against you, natural curiosity will probably get the better of her and she will want to meetyou some time. Let her know you are always there when she does.