Getting A Very Elderly Person Into A Care Home

[chokkie]

I wonder if anyone can offer some advice. We know of an elderly couple, the husband is suffering with dementia and his wife is nearly 85 (in good general health), but she is at the end of her tether looking after him - he has got to the stage where he soils himself regularly, and is generally too much for the wife to look after him. She feels totallly worn out and brow-beaten by the whole thing and feels that the best thing for both of them is for him to go into a care home. The subject of a home carer has been suggested, but he will not let anyone else into his home (he has already refused to have his son in his home) and, in any case, when the carer goes home, his wife will still have to deal with things - she is far too old to be lifting him etc. The problem is that his two daughters only have power of attorney over his financial affairs, they do not have power of attorney over his health matters. His wife has put his name down on a waiting list for a care home and has put a deposit down for this, but there are still 7 people ahead of him on this list. Is there a legal way in which this gentleman can be put in a home? Could this be done through the gentleman's GP and/or consultant geriatrician? The wife is, as mentioned earlier, at the end of her tether and cannot look after him any more. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks Chox.

[maclarencat]

His gp should be able to help get him admitted. His daughter ofr wife needs to speak to the gp and explain the situation. At the very least they can get respite. Also if he is in need of constant medical care his care should be free.

[mazie]

She needs to get his GP involved, who will then do an assessment and contact social services

[anneasquith]

the family could telephone social work department. and talk to a member of the ''care of the elderly '' team.

[Cloverjo]

They definitely need to get more people involved to help. GP, district nurse, social services. They also need carers in for now. Tough on him if he doesn't want people in his home. His wife needs help. What would happen if she were to have a heart attack or stroke?
I do sympathise. I'm going through a similar thing with my parents. It's hard on everyone.

[chokkie]

thanks for your advice, folks. It's going to be a bit of a job, we can see that - but we are really concerned for the wife's physical and mental well being. But thanks for all your suggestions, have taken them all on board. Cheers, Chox.