Is it ok to be used by a guy you REALLY like?

[lilposhgirl]

We all no im totally addicted to this now, so here goes another lil dilema. do you think its ok to be used by a guy you REALLY like. I have liked this guy for like 3yrs (oooo how sad) we're pretty close and tell each other EVERYTHING but there is such an awkward atmosphere anytime we're put near each other. And i don't think anything serious will ever come of it, but hey we can dream. so what do you think? Is it wrong for me to go ahead and do stuff with this guy when im 90% sure nothing will come of it? xxxxx

[Thunderchild]

as long as you feel ok about it whats our opinion worth ?

[lilposhgirl]

I dunno really i just wanted an unbais view i guess. xx

[Rubyrose]

Noway!!!!!! Don't put yourself down and allow this guy to use you if you don't think he wants you! Why bother? You will only make yourself feel cr@p in the long run! If you ain't top of his list then why would you want to be on it at all?

I guarantee that if this guy likes you at all then he would have made it clear by now, and if he sees you out and about with other guys he will realise he needs to do something about it. If he doesn't like you in that way then its his loss. It wasn't meant to be. Move on and why waste time on him.

Do you really think you can make him like you by offering him everything at such a low cost? Make him fight for you. Remember you are the prize in this, not him! He can't miss you if you're always around him.

[KittyGlitter]

I wouldn't 'go there', because even if you have loads of fun in the sack - you still have to deal with all the bits in between that, which will probably involve you thinking a lot about him and having to deal with the heartache of a one sided relationship. I think a good sign of a healthy relationship is having happy, secure feelings about you and the other person, when you aren't in each other's company.

[treacle84]

If you can live with just having a bit of 'fun' with this guy then go for it but if you have really strong feelings for him and he's not interested in anything serious aren't you going to get hurt? Why put yourself through heartache when there are tons of guys out there who would probably treat you better? Just be realistic with yourself then either take the relationship for what it is or move on and find someone else. Good luck hun x

[lilposhgirl]

I see exactly what your saying and im sooo stuck because he has had to work for it and i think he does like me but hes just not up for a relationship, which is fair enough, but i know if i go ahead with it ill probably have to go through all the heartache you were talking about. I really needed to disscus this thanks guys :) xx

[KittyGlitter]

No problem - and remember ( I sound like a wise old granny, oops!) you will have kept your self respect and that in itself will make you feel good and it will be empowering. Take care x

[funkymoped]

go for it girl, if it were a guy askin the question i would give the same answer.

[LazyGun]

How is he "using" you any more than you are "using" him in this situation?

If you wanna do it, everyone concerned is a consenting adult, you take proper precautions, etc.... go for it!

Why the angst implied by your question?

[lilposhgirl]

I think part of me is trying to protect itself (and my self respect come to think of it), but i guess i can cope with 'taking the relationship for what it is' ( thanks for that btw its exactly what i need to do) and i guess the other part of me is saying go for it you might never get the oppertunity again and you only live once xxxx

[smurfchops]

Of course it's not OK, but we are all outsiders. You will do what you want to do, and reap the consequences later. Best of luck, hope it works out x

[alijangra]

I dont understand when you say 'used'. Would you get nothing out of it?

[lilposhgirl]

course i would i mean he isnt getting off that lightly hehe xx

[WendyS]

No. Don't allow yourself to be used. You're obviously not comfortable in each other's presence despite the confidences you say you share. Why waste your life away dreaming? It's better to face reality and get on with the real thing.