Quizzes & Puzzles0 min ago
Baby Problems.
23 Answers
I feel like having a bit of a rant so here goes.
My brother and his new gf fell pregnant the month they met and had a baby at the end of october . The social services were involved from early on in pregnancy and they were both upset when ss took a more negative view on things and was talking about taking baby off them on day 1 mainly due to gf's history .The girlfriend was distraught and in flood of tears etc.
It turned out my parents were cornered into letting brother,gf and baby come to stay with them in their little 2 bedroom house for 6 to 8 weeks.
They are now on week 3 and my parents are getting very stressed with it all now and the ss haven't even started assessing how they are getting on with baby and if they can cope ,etc so I can see it dragging on for more than 8 weeks.
The frustrating thing is the gf has been 100% committed to keeping her baby during pregnancy and the endless meetings with ss,solicitors,midwives ,even the police but now baby is here it's like she's not interested. If the baby cries it's my brother that jumps up to go and see to baby while she doesn't bat an eyelid and doesn't show any interest .
Baby has been having terrible tummy problems with constipation and coliccy pain later in the day and yet doesn't seem to be trying to get to the bottom of it. she was feeding him a bottle of formula yesterday and she spent the whole time watching my brother and son playing a game on a tablet next to her and didn't look at baby once to check he wasn't sucking air not milk and then winded him for all of 5 mins.
my mum tells me that my brother is doing the lions share for the baby and helping a little with washing up etc but gf has to be asked to help or to do anything.even making sandwiches has been a real trial for her. my mum is getting exhausted having to sort out every single meal for them.
The gf has also showed signs of losing her temper with the baby which is very worrying as it's been crying so much .and one evening when he couldn't settle she was 'shoving' either the dummy or bottle in his mouth and then when that didn't help(as if it would) she put him down in moses basket quite roughly and went outside for a smoke!!! she sleeps thru the night and it''s my brother that gets up to see to baby and then she has the nerve to fall asleep on the sofa practically every afternoon.
we can see why the ss were so concerned about her.
it's all very worrying. she is saying she is stressed and tired (and my mum has caught her saying to health visitor that she does it all and my brother does hardly anything-she put the health visitor straight) but things are so easy for them now...okay baby has tummy problems that are a bit trying but they don't have to worry about shopping,cooking,cleaning and my brother is doing most of the baby care so what on earth is it going to be like when they go back to their own place. :/ :/ it almost feels like my brother would be better having baby on his own with our help.
Good knows what's going to be on the horizon and it is all falling on my mum's shoulders to look after them and to try to advise them if needed and ultimately to be the one reporting back to ss and health visitor about how things are.
There has been arguments about the leaving the baby and going out for a smoke thing and a couple of other things and 11o'clock one night during row she started shouting I'm going to ring up miss l,(her social worker) i've got to get out of this hell hole! what on earth.
My brother and his new gf fell pregnant the month they met and had a baby at the end of october . The social services were involved from early on in pregnancy and they were both upset when ss took a more negative view on things and was talking about taking baby off them on day 1 mainly due to gf's history .The girlfriend was distraught and in flood of tears etc.
It turned out my parents were cornered into letting brother,gf and baby come to stay with them in their little 2 bedroom house for 6 to 8 weeks.
They are now on week 3 and my parents are getting very stressed with it all now and the ss haven't even started assessing how they are getting on with baby and if they can cope ,etc so I can see it dragging on for more than 8 weeks.
The frustrating thing is the gf has been 100% committed to keeping her baby during pregnancy and the endless meetings with ss,solicitors,midwives ,even the police but now baby is here it's like she's not interested. If the baby cries it's my brother that jumps up to go and see to baby while she doesn't bat an eyelid and doesn't show any interest .
Baby has been having terrible tummy problems with constipation and coliccy pain later in the day and yet doesn't seem to be trying to get to the bottom of it. she was feeding him a bottle of formula yesterday and she spent the whole time watching my brother and son playing a game on a tablet next to her and didn't look at baby once to check he wasn't sucking air not milk and then winded him for all of 5 mins.
my mum tells me that my brother is doing the lions share for the baby and helping a little with washing up etc but gf has to be asked to help or to do anything.even making sandwiches has been a real trial for her. my mum is getting exhausted having to sort out every single meal for them.
The gf has also showed signs of losing her temper with the baby which is very worrying as it's been crying so much .and one evening when he couldn't settle she was 'shoving' either the dummy or bottle in his mouth and then when that didn't help(as if it would) she put him down in moses basket quite roughly and went outside for a smoke!!! she sleeps thru the night and it''s my brother that gets up to see to baby and then she has the nerve to fall asleep on the sofa practically every afternoon.
we can see why the ss were so concerned about her.
it's all very worrying. she is saying she is stressed and tired (and my mum has caught her saying to health visitor that she does it all and my brother does hardly anything-she put the health visitor straight) but things are so easy for them now...okay baby has tummy problems that are a bit trying but they don't have to worry about shopping,cooking,cleaning and my brother is doing most of the baby care so what on earth is it going to be like when they go back to their own place. :/ :/ it almost feels like my brother would be better having baby on his own with our help.
Good knows what's going to be on the horizon and it is all falling on my mum's shoulders to look after them and to try to advise them if needed and ultimately to be the one reporting back to ss and health visitor about how things are.
There has been arguments about the leaving the baby and going out for a smoke thing and a couple of other things and 11o'clock one night during row she started shouting I'm going to ring up miss l,(her social worker) i've got to get out of this hell hole! what on earth.
Answers
I am repeating myself sorry. but if you/mum/dad have concerns re the baby's welfare you are obliged to inform the authorities involved with this '' case '' I can sort of see your SIL point.
15:16 Tue 18th Nov 2014
My brother isn't in work but is talking about doing the right thing and getting a job when he can ..I think he will be better off at home for the foreseeable future.
My mum has asked and health visitor has asked gf about contraception and she reels off all the ones she can't use and won't say yes to actually having anything. very worrying that there will be another little one along . :(
Lcg that sounds like a very good idea-i think my brother is already seeing the light though. especially when she openly says to ss ,health visitor that he isn't helping when he is actually doing lots. She said it again today in a meeting in front of him.
I don't know why she is saying this especially as ss are so concerned about her they have been saying all along that my brother needs to step up to the mark otherwise they will be really really concerned and that is what he is doing . I can only think she is saying it to get attention/sympathy.
My mum has asked and health visitor has asked gf about contraception and she reels off all the ones she can't use and won't say yes to actually having anything. very worrying that there will be another little one along . :(
Lcg that sounds like a very good idea-i think my brother is already seeing the light though. especially when she openly says to ss ,health visitor that he isn't helping when he is actually doing lots. She said it again today in a meeting in front of him.
I don't know why she is saying this especially as ss are so concerned about her they have been saying all along that my brother needs to step up to the mark otherwise they will be really really concerned and that is what he is doing . I can only think she is saying it to get attention/sympathy.
