Is he playing games?

[XDivaX]

I'm getting so annoyed by this boy, I really cant suss him out. Wondered if anyone can shed some light on the topic because I just can't work out what he is thinking and wherever I'm being led on. Basically knew this guy from ages back but we never spoke to much up until two months back when we started chatting again online. One thing led to another and we met up for a drink one night. We have always said that nothing would happen because at the time we both had partners but at the moment both relationships are on the rocks and not going too well. Anyways this guy is VERY flirty and suggestive and on a number of occassions we have met up following him asking me to go out for a drink. He's told me he would eventually like more than just meeting up and a hug goodbye. I got back from my holiday last Tuesday and as soon as I got in I had a text asking me if i was back and how am i. So thats all good. But every now and then we can go for days without making contact and if I texted I don't get a reply. I don't wanna seem to keen so I'm trying not to text often but I really like him. I last spoke to him two nights back after he initiated the conversation which was the usual flirty chat and organising to go out again. The conversation finished and he said he would text me. Two days later not a word. Is he leading me on or just being a typical bloke and being very laid back and taking things in his own stride? From what he has said I gather he likes me but I don't understand how he can not be in touch for a bit and then out of blue start flirting again. Help. Suggestions please!?! x

[Rubyrose]

Its sounds like a pretty classic case of 'having his cake and eating it too'. Is he still with his partner? Are you still with your partner?

If he isn't single and you really like him and want to be with him then don't settle for second best. Don't let him have you until he has broken up with his girlfriend. It is sooo sooo easy to fall into the 'other woman' category and to sit around waiting.. but for what? Will he ever leave when he has the best of both worlds?

If he is single then I suggest you play it cool and back off abit. If he texts you then don't text back straight away. You need to make him wait. Remember you are the prize, not him. He should be winning you over. Play the 3 text rule. For every bit of contact he makes, be it, text, email, phone... that counts as 1 contact. He must attempt to contact you 3 times before you return his messages. Trust me... he will call again, and again, and again. If he doesn't then he isn't interested at all! "If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If a man doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay"

If you aren't single, then you need to seriously think about what you want! Try not to cheat on your partner as they deserve some respect and honesty. If you are having these feelings for someone else then there is a problem in your relationship and maybe you are taking the easy option and occupying yourself with something else instead of confronting the issue?

Ruby xx

[XDivaX]

I think your spot on. I'm not going to make the effort and see what happens. I think that must be the case because as I said before he texted as soon as I got home from my holiday and I hadn't bother to contact him and then when we spoke two nights ago that was because I hadn't texted him all day. I'm hoping it will work anyway. We are both currently 'on a break' from our partners. I've been in a relationship for 2 1/2 years and him for over 3 years now. When we were out the other night we both agreed that our relationships were getting a bit stale and although its hard could do with a break for a bit. My boyfriend is going on placement for a year in America with the uni starting from August so I think that is what has made me doubt our relationship as I know already I wont be able to handle staying with him and not seeing him for a year. Plus I'm feeling more and moe lately that I want to be single for a bit. I'm 21 now and I don't want to get a few years down the line and regret that I didn't enjoy myself like everyone else has done. Honestly the whole committment thing is scaring me especially seen as I don't see myself being with my current boyfriend long-term. I think the whole America thing and the fact that I've met this new guy has prompted me to think differently. I would never cheat on him so release I need to sort that out if anything ever happens with this other guy. Just wish he would call!!!

Can any guys shed some light on this as well? Am I being to OTT and are guys just generally into the whole 'treat her mean, keen her keen' thing? Are you all really that laid back when you like someone? Or am I just being mislead and should I try not to let it bother me?

Thanks for your help and thank you Ruby for your advice.

x

[Rubyrose]

You're welcome hun. Anytime :o)

I know how you feel. I am 21 and was with my ex from 16yrs old. Thats a long time and I thought its what I wanted and what I was ready for until I was out of it! He ended it but I do realise we had problems and now I'm just enjoying being single again. Lol :o) (I thought I'd forgotten how to be, but its still in there. Lol)

[XDivaX]

still no word! :( :( :( can i just state though that iv been great so far and havent texted or nothing. x

[XDivaX]

why does something as stupid as this really get a girl down? im really hoping im being OTT and all will be ok but im gettin really upset about it and shouldnt because we have only met a few times. i feel totally fed up tonight even my mum commented on how fed up i seem.

[XDivaX]

ok so i gave in and texted this morning seeing if i got a reply....no! so i'm gonna give up and get on with things. fed up with him messing me about. question is should i send a message later and say that i'm not gonna bother no more. if i get a reply then i know his just lazy and laid back but maybe still interested and if not then i knw for sure not to try getting in contact anymore. i don't want to look to over the top because we arent even dating and have only met a few times but then again i feel ill get some kind of closure if he know that i give up on him. help. sorry about caps, just seen what i have written and cant be bothered to delete it all and write again.

[Rubyrose]

I am sorry to say this Diva hun, but you also have to remember he has been in a relationship for a while and suddenly has this new found freedom. Don't waste anymore time on him hun. If he does contact you.. DON'T.. (and I can't stress this enough)... Don't reply straight away... make him wait for once.. it will work in your favour. Men thrive on the mystery of a woman. Appear mysterious and make him contact you at least 3 times before you reply. He has to earn it and so far he hasn't even tried. Don't give the treats away for free.. He doesn't deserve the handouts if he isn't willing to pay for them ;o)

If you wanna chat [email protected] :o)

xx

[Rubyrose]

Ooh I just remembered. I have a great Ebook I can send you. It teaches you all about making him interested. Its fantastic. You must must read it. If you want it then email me and I can attach it to an email for you hun. :o)

If ABed deletes my email before you read this then its kazzee then add the hotmail with a com.. not a co.uk

[XDivaX]

ill ad you when i get home later. would be nice to chat. but guess what he txtd me yesterday afternoon and we went out last night. asked me out again on friday. oh the excitement. turns out i was just being to much of a worrier. thanks for your help. chat later x

[Rubyrose]

You're very welcome but still play it cool. ;o)

Add me later hun if you still want to :o)

xx