Funeral/wake Food

[Baby_Sham]

I've just been told I need to provide the food to a wake, next week, and I'm seriously stressing out.

I'm not bitching about it as it's for a family member of my previous partner, but I'm more than concerned about the numbers, and how it's going to work out, logistically.

The woman who passed away didn't have many friends, but as the mother is a Jehovah's Witness she has invited a whole load of the congregation... which is currently at 200 people!
I have no idea what to make, or what to expect cost-wise, so was wondering what I could make, the night before, that would be ok to take the next morning and keep out (of a fridge) for a couple of hours?

I'm seriously stressed about this, so any help would be greatly received.

Ta very much :)

[naomi24]

Oh no, Boxy, I wouldn't make excuses. She needs to tell them straight - it's impossible.

[boxtops]

who made this phone call to you, anyway? It's such a nerve - offering to help out - and being asked to pay for flowers - it's hugely generous already, and really nothing to do with you these days - you are just being put upon by expecting you to do more. The congregation of 200 should be mucking in to help the mother do this, not fobbing it all off on you.

[paddywak]

Baby_Sham as everybody has said it's not really your responsibility just tell the mother that if she wants 200 plus mourners she's got to get her finger out and give you a hand.From my families point of view with the Irish descent it doesn't matter how much food you provide if you want a good send off for the deceased,all you need is plenty of alcohol,some music and good company the rest takes care of itself

[Old_Geezer]

Good for you.

[naomi24]

If you say 'no' they will have to take 'no' for an answer.

[BlackadderV]

Quite right too. The best thing you could do, as she is a JW, is take along five barley loaves and two small fishes, and tell her the Lord will provide.

[naomi24]

^:o)

[boxtops]

Go for it, baby_sham, tell her. Don't let her change your mind. You don't have any reason why you should be doing this. Your ex has no idea what's involved, so don't let him pressure you either.

[Maydup]

If we are not going to talk you out of it and just adding to your stress then settle for prepacked cakes.

Eg mini cakes here are 2 pkts for £3. Thats 32 tiny cakes for £3. If you buy 20 pks of assorted flavours it will cost £30 and be enough for 2/3 each.

http://groceries.asda.com/asda-webstore/landing/home.shtml#/product/910000565320

Do the same with something savoury and you will have made a fine effort for about £50.

Oh, and don't forget milk, coffee and tea. But please, please ask one of them to help you on the day

[tamborine]

Tell them to bring their own foods & drinks. I saw a coffin covered with a conifer branch and strewn red roses on top, one for each family member. Minimalist but dramatic.

[BlackadderV]

Quite right too. The best thing you could do, as she is a JW, is take along five barley loaves and two small fishes, and tell her the Lord will provide.

...and don't forget that afterward there will be7 baskets left over, that's some doggy bag!

[Canary42]

A family member of your PREVIOUS partner - so nothing to do with you really - why can't he do it since he's so keen ?

You're being cruelly exploited and emotionally blackmailed.

My advice - don't even go to the funeral, and tell them to stuff their wake where the sun don't shine.

[Cloverjo]

I love Blackadder's answer. Oh, please do that.

[janbee]

A load of naff ham sarnies cut into quarters...if they don't like it... then tough! Do you have 200 cups/mugs for teas/coffees? No, who does? A large mug of tea and 200 straws I think. Seriously Baby, this is NOT your problem ,but they are taking advantage of you.

[seekeerz]

Grab your passport Baby, and head for the hills, sweetie ....they are trying to take advantage of you and if you aren't there, well ........

[VHG]

>>>I've just been told I need to provide the food to a wake,

Just because you have been "told" it does not mean you have to do it.

Sometimes we all need to be strong enough to say NO.

[ladybirder]

OK I was being facetious when I suggested using Waitress or M&S, sorry. IF you are going to find it really difficult when it comes to actually saying No, perhaps, and only if it makes it easier for YOU, not THEM, you could soften it by offering a sum of money to be decided by YOU towards the cost but then that will be the end of your involvement? Just a suggestion to perhaps make it easier for you, NOT that I think you SHOULD.

[andres]

Baby Sham---Give over stressing yourself about the wake. Jehovah's witness' will come to a funeral but I don't think they celebrate with a wake afterwards. They don't do wakes. Check on this first otherwise you might go to a lot of trouble and expense and be out of pocket.

[slinky.kate]

why don't you give them a phone back and tell them its too much for you but you can give them a hand to make up sandwiches etc.Even say is there anything you can contribute to this,then they will realise exactly what they expected of you,that way your not turning them down and you will get some help....

[237SJ]

Just wondering what the outcome was?