The Queens' Speech To The Next Parliament.....
......well, partly, The new government will be formed by the Motorists Alliance Party (MAP). My ministers will undertake a comprehensive renovation of the road network. Traffic is moving slower now than at any time in the countrys' history. This is because of lack of foresight and vision by previous officials dating back over one hundred years, where vehicle ownership was something that was only envisaged for the privileged few, highlighted by the comments at the time of the famous motor manufacturer Mercedes, who said there will never be mass car ownership, as there will not be enough chauffeurs for everyone. The new action plan will involve the removal of all obstructions and markings, such as speed bumps, traffic islands, bus lanes, road-narrowing bollards and restrictive lane markings. This will be further enhanced by widening as many roads as possible by narrowing the vastly underused pavements, which in many areas are five or six yards wide. A further measure will see an increase in the speed limit to 40 mph, except in essential areas near schools, hospitals and other vital facilities, where the limit will be 20 mph. All roads will be monitored by speed cameras, which will help to fund the project. All of these measures will ensure the eradication of traffic jams and slow moving traffic, which are causing massive disruption to services and industry, and I commend it to the house! Mr. Mitty, Mr. Mitty, wake up! Wake up!