Do Not Read If Even Mildly Offended/

[kylesmum]

Right everyone has been warned.

Why are my parps sometimes silent but burning butty hot? Why do they disgust everyone else but please me?

This is a genuine question.

Why do parps come in different 'tunes' and scents?

Even the Queen parps. I daresay she has a seperate room though and doesn't ever have to butt clench :)

[Buenchico]

>>>Why do parps come in different 'tunes'

Because it's vibration that causes sound. In the same way that you'll get a different note if you 'twang' a really taught rubber band than if you do the same thing to a loosely-stretched one, the note produced depends upon the taughtness of your anal sphincter, which varies depending upon (among other things) how much gas is present. Additional noise (at lower frequencies) might be created when the blast of gas passes over the 'inner' parts of your buttocks if they're clenched together.


>>>and scents?

Unless you eat the same thing for every meal there wil be different things being digested in your alimentary canal at different times; so there will be different combinations of gases produced, with different odours.


>>>Why do they disgust everyone else but please me?

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/11/11/why-do-we-like-the-smell-of-our-own-farts_n_6137990.html


>>>Even the Queen parps

But hopefully, like her earlier namesake, she will forgive others who do (but only after a suitable period of time). The historian, John Aubrey recorded this:
"'This Earle of Oxford, making of his low obeisance to Queen Elizabeth, happened to let a Fart, at which he was so abashed and ashamed that he went to Travell, 7 yeares. On his returne the Queen welcomed him home, and sayd, My Lord, I had forgott the Fart.'

[1ozzy]

You are not alone Kylesmum.
I think Chris has "covered" your questions.
You may find some info here.

http://www.oddee.com/item_98612.aspx

[kylesmum]

Chris....I can't tell you how much I enjoyed that wee video !
I will now embrace my silent but deadly ones...nay...cherish them for my delictation :)
I am now a loud and proud silent parper...okay that seems like i'm at odds with my parps but I know, Chris knows and I think ozzy knows and that's all that matters ;)

Off to waft the duvet :)