Concern For Elderly Acquaintance

[Mosaic]

Long story but I accompanied an acquaintance aged 89 to A&E today, suspected heart attack. She's often a little confused and forgetful. However in chatting while waiting for treatment, she described having regular experiences of what I can only describe as waking dreams. For example, talking to visitors, then getting cross when they don't answer her - as nobody was there - but having to check with relatives as to whether they really weren't there (if you see). Or, her lovely little dog having run off and got lost - she doesn't have a dog, had one once, but knew this one wasn't the old dog, then realised after about an hour of worry that she never did have a new dog. She lives alone, family reasonably nearby but 'she doesn't want to be a trouble'. I'm quite worried that she needs more support, if only to make sure she's managing - but should I mention this to her family as it's really not my business?

[237SJ]

I would. You could try the adult (elderly) care section of her local council`s website but they might not deal with you as you are not family.

[woofgang]

Social Services (and her GP) can't tell you anything but they can listen to what you have to say. Before you do either though, I would talk to her family. If she was my Mum (I have been in the same circs with my late Mum) I would be hurt and cross if someone took action without talking to me or another family member first.

[TWR]

I would contact the family Mosaic before something happens, you will never forgive yourself if something did.

[tonyav]

Mosaic, what is her eye sight like ?.

[Mosaic]

Tony, she's just had two cataracts removed and one is giving trouble - double vision. Like me, she is used to seeing flaring on the edge of vision, and swatting imaginary flies, but the people she 'dreams' about appear really sitting on the sofa, so to speak.

[tonyav]

This is the reason why I ask, Mosaic. My aunt ( 86 this year ) she as poor eye sight and suffers from Charles Bonnet syndrome, she see's many things and people that aren't there. On the upside to this ( if there is one ) is that she knows about this syndrome and she understands that they are only some sort of hallucination.

https://www.rnib.org.uk/eye-health-eye-conditions-z-eye-conditions/charles-bonnet-syndrome

[tonyav]

What you have just described ( about the mirage being very real ) is exactly how my aunt describes it to, Mosaic.
She is due to have two cataracts removed in the near future.

[MallyJ]

My mother in law was convinced that the people on the tv were real ... she would also let anyone in to the house that knocked on the door...a form of alzheimers. (can't spell it!). Very worrying .. do let her family know as soon as you can.

[tonyav]

Forgot to mention that she also has macular degeneration.

[Mosaic]

Thank you all for your advice, and especially Tony for the 'Bonnet' link. I'll raise my worries with her family, and hopefully help will be forthcoming.

[tonyav]

Best of luck, Mosaic.

[alavahalf]

In my line of work ( I work with the vulnerable ) I sometimes come across people just like your acquaintance. It will only leave you worrying if you don't tell someone else who is capable of dealing with this situation.
Pass it on to Social Services, they know what to do and will send someone to check on her using her 'Recent hospital visit' as a reason for their surprise call.
In the mean time advise the family of your actions, this way you have voiced your concerns and passed the responsibility over and you wont have sleepless nights worrying.

[Dee Sa]

please tell her relatives Mosaic, it is your business you were the one that took her to A&E, sometimes [not always] relatives take a step back if they think someone else will do the donkey work for them.

[Greedyfly]

I would definitely mention this and the end of the day you are just safeguarding that this lady is safe and looked after. I would hate to think that my mother was going through this and I didn't know or hadn't noticed.