After This Description Of Her, If You Fell In Love With Her Would You Want To Marry And Have Kids With Her?

[wanttoknowu]

I dated a girl who is 35 years old, living with her mother, had ocd, is a hoarder, cheapskate.beyond! So she does not turn the AC or HEAT in her car. Will not roll the windows down, does not drive anywhere with her car other than going to work and STRAight! home. Would never come over with her car! She does not drive faster than 40 mph. Is a tom boy as she says, is a mess (hoarding) but is very hygenic. Has to have things her way, needs her alone time very independent woman who is educated and intelligent. Smart from text books to finances. A clean woman (sexually and mentally). She is sexy but very weird in ways. Her room is such a mess that I never saw it as she would not allow me to see it. Her mother and her are like "Sisters" as they describe their close relationship. When i was dating her i would always have to argue about seeing her. She worked a lot so if she was not sleeping on friday or saturday nights, would want to spend the time alone or she would see me if her mother's fiance was not here this weekend. If it was a weekend that her mom's fiance was not there, she would go out friday with her mom to a bar, saturday go dancing to the same bottle. A VERY ROUTine life! She lives in the basement and sleeps down there for the 2 years I have known her. I am sure her life has been the same for the last 14 years since graduating college. Her mother is divorced since her childhood and has a fiance for the last 10 years or so that is a bit of an ***. Makes fun of her, is rude, sarcastic and cynical. He lives in another state and comes to see his fiance ha every other weekend or so. I just want to know from men and women how this situation looks BUT! FROM men! Depending on how she looks and how you felt about her, if you fell in love with her and thought she was the sexiest thing in the world, from the description above, would you consider proposing to her, wanting children from her and spending the rest of your live with her and no other woman???

Thank You

[Buenchico]

She's on the autism spectrum. (Trust me. I know; I'm there myself!).

It's up to you to decide whether you think that you've got any future together. If you're prepared to live with her 'handicap' (as you might see it) or her 'better view of life' (as she'll almost undoubtedly see it) then go for it. Otherwise run as far away as possible, as soon as possible!

[wanttoknowu]

Hmmm

[scorpiojo]

So you're no longer dating her?

[wanttoknowu]

Hmmm give me more detail on your feelings please. You don't think she will get married? You don't think anyone will want to marry her and have kids with her? Isn't her body, face and mind enough for a man to marry her? I only ask because I am curious about what other people think about how she sounds? I wanted to marry her the first day I met her and that never changed.

[Cloverjo]

I was thinking along the same lines as Buenchico about the autism.

I find it quite odd when a mother and daughter describe themselves as like sisters.
Why does the mother tolerate her fiancé's nastiness? It's not too clear from your post (to me, anyway) whether he is nasty to the mum or the daughter. Any way up, it doesn't sound like an easy relationship that you might have with this woman. She might be sexy, but it sounds like a bit too much hard work

[wanttoknowu]

The guy is kind of rude to my girl not the mom. He is not sweet like me. He is a bit of an ***. She is sexy and I think that you are right. For most it is probably too much work but I will take her anyday! Her mom used to tell me "She is beautiful but guys get tired of her." When I told her that one time she would say, "That is because my mom doesn't want us to be together or."

[scorpiojo]

I have no idea if she will get married...she does sound like hard work. If you wanted to marry her from the first day you met her, then you've answered your own question...yes, somebody will want to marry her. Are you still together?

[wanttoknowu]

Long story. I am in love with her as I am a bit different too. I am 27 though. Will she find a older man who will take that *** idk? Just because I fell in love with her does not mean another will. I can guarantee you this, she will not find someone that looks like me, has my DI**, age, heart, talents and accepts all her weird behaviors. I met her 12/12 my mom went to be with the lord on 12/13. This was my first real relationship, fell in love with her, she was difficult, rough time, was maturing. Nothing could have prepared me for it. I feel for my circumstances I did pretty good. I am very romantic, cute, would serenade her, sing to her. We went on a break March 2014 to July. Then got back together and went another break in November. She said "I love you but the aggression is coming back idk." That was in her voicemail but in person after an hour she said "No that's not it, I need to find someone older, I want to get married and half kids." As much as I want to have her kids, sadly with her habits I amnot sure if she is even someone who should reproduce. As everyone agrees.

[Hypognosis]

@wanttoknowu

I don't know if any proof exists that obsessive behaviours are truly inheritable (by which I mean genetic) or whether they are merely learnt, by copying patental behaviour.

So, do your research. Stories of obsessive-behaviour parents raising kids are only anecdotal evidence (take a pinch of salt) but they are a start. They may be thin on the ground, though because OCD was something nobody had heard of, 15-20 years ago.

I think there is no *medical* reason not to have kids.

However, practicalities are another matter. Can you get time off work at minutes' notice? Who will drive the school run? Who will take the kid to the doctor? The park?

All the places she refuses to drive to, as of now.


If she really is locked that deeply into a routine then consider how much babies would break that. Stress and anxiety will take years off her life.

Can you cope with 90%+ of the childcare?

[Hypognosis]

*para1) copying parental behavior

[Clanad]

Without any intention of snarkiness, I think the better question is "why would she want anything to do with you"?

It would appear that your judgement of the situation is clouded by your own personality quirks... as in "...I am in love with her as I am a bit different too". Understatement doesn't quite do justice in describing your self-evaluation...

[Scarlett]

You mention her sexiness, her looks and that she should be grateful for your looks and your d***- first and foremost. Do be aware that you are placing a lot of emphasis on looks and sex. If she married you and had kids- her body would change and she may no longer want sex in the same way. Then you will be left with her, and her alone. Looks fade but the person within stays. You better make sure you love her, and her alone, her ways, and not just her body, or I think you'll end up disappointed. And yes she does def sound like she is on the autistic spectrum. She needs her routine, Mother
etc. If you married her, all that would change. Could she cope with that?

[scorpiojo]

//As much as I want to have her kids, sadly with her habits I am not sure if she is even someone who should reproduce. As everyone agrees//?