Family Court Child Arrangement Order Problem :(

[lsharp]

hi just after some advice before I give the courts a visit, basically I have a child contact order in place with my ex children's father, for the last couple weeks he has been bringing children back 15-20 mins earlier than planned and keeps texting my mum who is the 3rd party (I have nothing to do with him) he was talking about silly things like why is my son ringing his nan?!
my mum has had enough of being made to feel the way she does and I don't blame her to be honest, she only wanted and agreed to be someone to contact if he was running late or kids fell ill etc nothing more so my question is if she doesn't want to be 3rd person anymore (he also has to collect/drop off at hers) what will happen now as we have a restraining order in place for a previous incident between us!
I'm confused and don't no what to do :(

[EDDIE51]

If your Mum does not want to do it, then it is up to you and the father to either do the hand over yourselves or get someone else to do it.
It is not a matter for the court to choose how the handover works.
The court will need to be informed of the new arrangement once you have decided what to do.
The new '3rd party' can be another relative or a trusted friend but it is your and your ex ,not the court , that have to decide who it will be.
Once you have decided then you inform the court what the new arrangement is.

[lsharp]

we are not allowed to have any contact due to a restraining order so how are we meant to arrange this??

[EDDIE51]

The order does not stop you communicating over the child's welfare that would be ridiculous. What would happen if your mum was taken ill while your ex had the child?
What are the terms of the order exactly? It probably says you must not harass each other or similar. I have some personal experience in this type of situation, but have never heard of an order that did not allow the mother and father of a child to discuss the child's welfare.

[lsharp]

I have a restraining order that says I cannot contact him unless it is an emergency to do with the children, I'm not prepared to risk breaking that as it could lead me to be in a lot of trouble it was a minor criminal offence between us

[EDDIE51]

If your Mum can not act as the 3rd party then this 'an emergency to do with the children'.
You have no option other than to contact him.
You could write to /email him and keep copies of the letters/emails if you really do not want to talk and need a record of the contact.

[EDDIE51]

^^ if it really is that serious you could get a solicitor to contact him on your behalf, but remember solicitors cost money, at least £50 for every letter!

[bednobs]

firstly, it the situation irretrevable from your mum's POV? could she gently remind him what her role is and ask him to stop contcting her on other matters?

[lsharp]

hi she's sent a txt to him today saying what the court order says her role is and anymore other than to with what is said she will no longer carry it on, she hasn't received a delivery report so thinks he has blocked her number

[atalanta]

Some towns/cities have family/children's centres where one parent can drop off the children and leave them in the charge of the staff, thus permitting the other parent to collect the children from the centre later. When the visit is over, the exchange happens in reverse. Local social services should be able to tell you of the nearest centre where this can be arranged.