And lo, there were special liquids in the 1800th post!! Pbuhg&t Ab Editor

Onwards, FCoAB

Far too early for that ven. Even by HBT and the crews' wistful looks, the sun's not over the yard arm yet.

They need no encouragment, O venator. Which is why I've got the key.

Ab Editor is mighty in his sacred accoutrements! Pbuhg&tandnewdrinkstrolly,we are truly blessed!!

June

1st The Start of Summer Time to go to garden centre for Gnome polish and freshen up our sacred icons

3rd Cupcake day

8th Feast of Saint Ripstop When the art of Kite flying is celebrated and brightly coloured nylon things attempt to reach the heavens

10th The Day of St Duveticus where it is permissible to linger in bed and worship while keeping head firmly on the pillow

16th Tide wait day a day for going to the beach and finding a bar to drink sacred beverages

22nd Craftimas A day to consider our EX partners with fondness or otherwise and large amounts of Sacred Gin while wearing false teeth

28th Remembrance of the faithful Time to think fondly of those who have gone for any reason and drink much wine and beer in their memory

30th St Correctimus Rae It is permissible to hunt out errors in post and kindly suggest corrections

July
2nd Bikemas Celebrating all things two wheeled related especially tight lycra on neat bottoms and sexy leather gear

5th Annual meeting of the DMAG Daily mail aficionados group where the faithful will ignore completely all such scaremongering and foolishness

12th Post a menu day offer up your most annoying choice of menu with specially selected wines , 16 english cheeses or similar in memory of times past..

17th Wooden Spoon festival All stirrers to be tied to giant wooden spoons and pelted with wet sponges YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

18th Annual pond fishing competition ceremonial garb to be worn Giant toadstool seats to be booked in advance

21st Goat Day For those who failed to pull on Sheepimas

28th Feast of The Aztecs dark chocolate only to be eaten… in lieu of the human sacrifices Sacrifice cancelled due to lack of available virgins

31st Coach trip to the Hanging gardens of Answerbank (two window boxes full of dandelions and a pot of dead nastutiums) Tickets available in advance £35 bring a packed lunch

I believe Snags has some spare ones from St Craft maybe you could borrow some...

As rhe christian messiah changed water to wine perhaps Ab Editor may turn Gin into another tipple of your preference praise be to him.

My Birthday is the day of ST Duveticus .... I'm not daft

I would like to join you as a member of your congregation but i do not have an email address so i have use my OH's. As a(n ab) virgin please be your kind and help me Learn the ways. I will try to get him to get my own address soon
as I like the way you think and telling people I was N.U.T.S. was getting me some stern looks. I hope you will let me join.
pbuhg&t Ab Editor
mrs divlong

Welcome High priestess Boxtops will sort out details like initiations... hope you are not allergic to bananas

rowan an allergy to bananas does not seem to be a hinderence to be a member of this honored and apostolic site. there are at least two of us here already and we cope by using yellow plastic forms cunningly disguised. we have no wish to upset the majority of members. we treasure our membership of such a fellowship. all hail.

i have finished completing my diary for the coming months. all hail.

♫ Pbuhg&t&newdrinkstrolley(ndt in future) Ab Editor ! All hail his Gnomeness and pointy hat!!♫

Might we humbly supplicate for a Quicklink Part 3, that Rowan's new guidance be available in handy form?

I have always loved bananas in all the many, many wonderful ways HE has
devised for us to enjoy, may I indulge in banana and carrot cake together?
I have been in the midst of the unclean and come now to purify my soul.
All hail His Gnomeness of the pointy hat, May HIS magnificence shine forever more.
mrs divlong

her Royal Priestess, the wonderful Boxie-one has the bottle of Sipsmith cleansing water, divlong. She will see you are appropriately purged and enemaed.

..dear me
<draws face covering across sou'wester, grasps special liquids and retires>...

I look forward to my cleansing.
I do need to keep my blessed cat off the keepboard while I try
to learn the ways of FCoA.For he is old and used to unstinting loyalty,
he does drinks like a fish as well.

Beware of the enema divlong.

I fear nothing as I have the High Priestess and bard to show me the way

We all become of what we seek and eat
And what we eat is leek and banana earth
Yet food received at Venator' feet
Gives unto spirit; an enema birth

AB Editor's Spirit cleans the chosen few
Gives sup on Banana hill
Rids lust for garlic, wyedyed leeks too!
Such Apostolic poison that can kill

The Ed reveals what trolls hide
Which fruit seed they’ll plant in vain
Such filth can constipate the AB bride
And cause her stress and pain

But will we give to Ed these things?
We’ve grown so much to love?
Or are we pleased how Mr Knobby sings?
We seek no more above

We must give Ed all our toxins found
Like jealousy and hate
Trollish fruit on holy AB ground
Will only mentally constipate

Best put and end to all that’s seadogg foul
Refuse the NoMl’s wine
Although there’s rumbling of the toilet bowel
We’ve Boxie's medicine divine

Receive Boxie’s enema today
Her Sipsmith Gin and Tonic Flame
She’ll bring an end to life’s bottom decay
Through faith in Ed’s name

Receive the AB Truth, Venator’s guiding Light
Receive Ed's promised Jewel
Banana, chocolate, infinite leek sight
And promote the Gnomeish rule