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Nuns

Mother superior gathers all the nuns into the hall and announces: "I am afraid to say we have a case of syphilis in the convent" One of the nuns at the back says to another "Thank christ for that, I'm...
09:02 Wed 05th Aug 20151 answer, last by weecalf 09:47 Wed 05th Aug 2015
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A bloke walks into the dentists....

..and says, "Doctor, doctor, you've got to help me, I keep thinking I'm a moth!" The dentist says "Im a dentist not a doctor, why did you come in here?" The bloke says "Well,...
12:32 Tue 03rd Jan 20122 answers, last by missprim 18:05 Tue 03rd Jan 2012
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Good old Jethro

Denzil goes into a shop and says to the the woman there, "Hullo I'd like to buy some flowers please" The lady says "This isn't a florist, it's a circumcision clinic!" Denzil says...
11:40 Mon 14th Nov 2011
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Can we change the name of this sub forum from "Science" to "Homework Corner"?

09:50 Tue 20th Sep 20113 answers, last by xerus 11:16 Tue 20th Sep 2011
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Come again?

I entered a blindfolded w**king competition at the weekend. I don't know where I came. (The letters missing are 'an' for the hard of thinking)...
09:59 Mon 12th Sep 20118 answers, last by Avatar 15:38 Thu 15th Sep 2011
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Car

- Took my car in to be Simonized last week. They cut 2" off the exhaust pipe.
10:05 Wed 31st Aug 20116 answers, last by pjgriffo 22:08 Wed 31st Aug 2011
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Whats the difference?

between a reliable vacuum cleaner and a randy admiral in the swiss navy? One sucks and never fails... between a street vendor and a dachshund? One bawls out his wares on the street between a...
10:34 Fri 26th Aug 201112 answers, last by Avatar 12:19 Wed 31st Aug 2011
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Golf

Man and his lady wife are starting a round of golf. They finish their first green and are walking to the next tee when a golf ball flies out of nowhere, strikes the wife on the head and knocks her...
08:12 Tue 16th Aug 20111 answer, last by factor30 08:15 Tue 16th Aug 2011
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Neologisms

Neologisms ..... The Washington Post publishes a contest for readers in which they are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. Flabbergasted...
12:50 Thu 28th Jul 20112 answers, last by Quizmonkey 12:02 Fri 29th Jul 2011
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Pack of 3

Bought a packet of flavoured condoms. Said to the other half in bed, "hey, how do you fancy a laugh? turn the lights off and I'll put one on and then you try and guess the taste"...
12:38 Wed 13th Jul 201110 answers, last by RATTER15 13:04 Wed 13th Jul 2011
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Economical Car

What are the most economical mpg Astra/Corsa sized cars that one could pick up for about 4 or 5000? 4 seaters and a reasonable boot required. so far Ive considered 1.3CDTi Corsa Eco 1.7 CDTi Astra 1.4...
13:03 Wed 15th Jun 20116 answers, last by craft1948 22:39 Thu 16th Jun 2011
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More frog bashing

A recent explosion at the factory in France used to manufacture white flags has effectively crippled their military capability. Why is the Champs Élysées lined with trees? The German...
12:56 Wed 08th Jun 2011
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VW Bora TDi PD 150

Hi Recently acquired a 2003 model, the figures say it should return over 50mpg extra urban but my trip computer is giving 34mpg over multiple journey average. My old X reg Audi A4 Tdi used to give me...
10:22 Wed 02nd Feb 20112 answers, last by docspock 14:45 Fri 04th Feb 2011
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If you need a cage its cruel surely

Does the panel think... If, to keep a pet you require a cage to keep it in, it is then cruel really? Even small animals like hamsters, mice, gerbils etc, would range over quite large territories in...
13:12 Wed 19th Jan 201120 answers, last by wildwood 21:24 Thu 20th Jan 2011
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Rough estimates for conveyancing costs

Hi Just wondering if there was a general overall figure for conveyancing house purchase/sale? Inclusive of all the searches etc. I am selling a flat with share of freehold for 190k and purchasing a...
15:08 Mon 10th Jan 20113 answers, last by PeterEstes 08:44 Wed 26th Feb 2014
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Rough estimates for conveyancing costs

Hi Just wondering if there was a general overall figure for conveyancing house purchase/sale? Inclusive of all the searches etc. I am selling a flat with share of freehold for 190k and purchasing a...
15:05 Mon 10th Jan 20117 answers, last by Avatar 11:59 Fri 14th Jan 2011
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How about a new subsection in Science?

Perhaps called "Please do my homework for me" or "Google? What's google?" Just a thought...
10:45 Wed 24th Nov 20102 answers, last by wildwood 19:13 Wed 24th Nov 2010
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Daisy

Little 5 year old Daisy, sees a group of workmen turn up next door to build a house. She takes an interest and starts to talk to them. The builders, with hearts of gold, adopt her as their site...
13:06 Wed 10th Nov 20101 answer, last by moonraker558 08:04 Thu 11th Nov 2010
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What goes 'Huh?', click, 'Huh?', click, 'Huh?', click, 'Huh?', click

Answer: The majority of the readers of Marvals "jokes"
13:51 Tue 26th Oct 20107 answers, last by mohill 00:22 Wed 27th Oct 2010
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Behind the headstone

I was walking throught the churchyard on my way to work today and passed a man crouching by a tombstone. "Morning" I called out. "No, I'm just having a sh1t" he replied....
09:59 Thu 21st Oct 20101 answer, last by lumination 10:03 Thu 21st Oct 2010

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