Donate SIGN UP

BANANASPLITS

601 to 620 of 676

First Previous 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 Next Last

Avatar Image
Patsy33

Just Heard..

Just heard someone shouting “Tequila! Vodka! Whiskey!” I said “I call the shots around here”....
18:48 Fri 28th Sep 201815 answers, last by retrocop 23:46 Fri 28th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
Patsy33

Yoga Class

Went to my yoga class this morning. My teacher was drunk! It was really embarrassing. I was put in a really awkward position...
12:18 Fri 28th Sep 20184 answers, last by Tilly2 18:01 Fri 28th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
retrocop

Paddy Drowned

-- One night, Mrs McMillen answers the door to see her husbands best friend, Paddy, standing on the doorstep. "Hello Paddy, but where is my husband? He went with you to the beer factory" Paddy shook...
11:28 Fri 28th Sep 20183 answers, last by Patsy33 11:45 Fri 28th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
laughingman

Chlamydia?

Went to dr yesterday due to some inflammation on my penis which i have been treating with thrush cream. They took pee samples and a swab and couldn't find anything, so sent my samples for further...
05:56 Fri 28th Sep 201840 answers, last by laughingman 15:35 Fri 28th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
BANANASPLITS

I'm So Upset....

I’m so upset I’m going to shout this from the rooftops... SOMEONE'S STOLEN MY LADDER!...
07:19 Thu 27th Sep 201832 answers, last by retrocop 23:22 Thu 27th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
retrocop

Destitution

A husband and wife are having financial troubles. They agree she should walk the streets to pick up some extra cash. The husband drops his wife off in the red light area of town, and returns 6 hours...
10:28 Thu 27th Sep 20185 answers, last by Patsy33 11:55 Thu 27th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
Sqad

Cheering Mrs Sqad Up

Scenario: I get up before Mrs sqad and my study also doubles up as my bedroom and i am watching TV (News) Mrs sqad: Good morning darling. Sqad: Good morning darling, did you sleep well? Mrs sqad: I...
08:32 Thu 27th Sep 2018105 answers, last by retrocop 22:59 Thu 27th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
BANANASPLITS

Titanic....

My Grandad warned people the Titanic would sink… No one listened, but he kept warning them until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the cinema....
18:22 Wed 26th Sep 20187 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 00:57 Thu 27th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
Patsy33

Restaurant

Was going to send back my fish in a herb sauce at a restaurant the other night, but I wasn’t sure if it was the thyme or the plaice....
16:22 Wed 26th Sep 201876 answers, last by 1ozzy 08:38 Fri 28th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
jillie

Confectionery Quiz

1 Pop Band (5) Answer associated with 'Out of this world' but has to be a confectionery or biscuit bar 2 Lost in the snow? You need one of these dogs (8) Answer associated with wintry weather but has...
17:43 Wed 26th Sep 201816 answers, last by mallyh 08:41 Thu 27th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
bigbecky

Should I Be Allowed To Keep My Tv While In Punishment ?

as you all know I have been sentenced to 3 weekends imprisonment by my parents for sneaking out to a party, I am only on punishment at weekends because I go to school, this coming weekend I will be...
15:08 Wed 26th Sep 2018101 answers, last by gness 22:02 Wed 26th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
spathiphyllum

Offered Breakfast

I've never been offered breakfast on a job in my entire life. Tea, coffee, yeah that's quite normal, and on reflection i once got offered a ham sandwich (i guess this is similar) but this morning i...
08:55 Wed 26th Sep 2018111 answers, last by spathiphyllum 14:58 Wed 26th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
BANANASPLITS

Wife Has Left Me....

My wife accused me of being a transvestite, I was so outraged . I packed her things and left....
17:24 Tue 25th Sep 20186 answers, last by BANANASPLITS 18:43 Tue 25th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
Patsy33

Job Interview

Had an interview for a job as a blacksmith once. I was asked if I had ever shoed a horse. I said no, but I’d told a donkey to go away once....
16:04 Tue 25th Sep 20186 answers, last by Spicerack 17:08 Tue 25th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
BANANASPLITS

Sipping Wine.

A married couple are sitting in the living room, sipping wine. Out of the blue, the wife says, “I love you.” “Is that you, or the wine talking?” asks the husband, surprised by this...
10:32 Mon 24th Sep 201816 answers, last by fiyeg 10:14 Sat 27th Nov 2021
Avatar Image
jennyjoan

Just A Quickie

Am about to leave a thank you acknowledgement. Roses, Quality Street or Celebrations. I don't like either any of them but what do you think
09:01 Mon 24th Sep 201829 answers, last by Jackdaw33 14:44 Mon 24th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
queenofmean

Yay!

I had my theory test this morning. Nailed it! Happy days - going to have a break and consider booking my practical....
10:16 Mon 24th Sep 201829 answers, last by tonyav 19:42 Mon 24th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
ToraToraTora

Labour To Make It Easier To Deselect M Ps

https://news.sky.com/story/labour-to-make-it-easier-to-oust-sitting-mps-11507047 Presumably to make it easier for Agent COB's brown shirts to get rid of moderates....
09:01 Mon 24th Sep 201821 answers, last by ludwig 11:28 Tue 25th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
marval

Dogging

I have just walked past a pub called the Dog Inn. I can’t imagine the shenanigans that go on in their car park. I just rang the emergency services and said, “There’s just been an explosion at...
21:37 Sat 22nd Sep 20189 answers, last by zebo 20:55 Mon 24th Sep 2018
Avatar Image
Bazile

Nail Biting

Reports are coming in of a local hammer being arrested for assault Apparently , a nail has made an allegation that it was hit over the head , by the hammer ....
13:51 Sat 22nd Sep 20189 answers, last by jno 09:36 Sun 23rd Sep 2018

601 to 620 of 676

First Previous 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 Next Last