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Berniecuddles2

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Berniecuddles2

Face Lift!!

A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent £5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said...
17:35 Sat 14th Oct 20172 answers, last by marval 21:37 Sat 14th Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

At The Zoo!

I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage. The zoo keeper told me it was bread in captivity....
08:51 Fri 13th Oct 201730 answers, last by marval 15:08 Fri 13th Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Nine Children!

Shortly after having her ninth baby, an Irish Catholic woman runs into her parish priest. He congratulates her on the new offspring and says, "Nine children is certainly a full house." "Well," she...
09:55 Thu 12th Oct 20173 answers, last by DTCwordfan 10:31 Thu 12th Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Phobia!

I have a phobia of French pastry chefs. They give me the crepes.
19:55 Wed 11th Oct 201710 answers, last by marval 21:20 Wed 11th Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

New Job!

I've just been offered a job as an adult movie director! I told them where to shove it....
06:37 Wed 11th Oct 201714 answers, last by marval 17:28 Wed 11th Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

A Nun In The Convent

A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower. "There is a blind man to see you," she says. "Well, if he is a blind man, than it does not matter if I'm in the...
18:23 Tue 10th Oct 201719 answers, last by Berniecuddles2 07:58 Wed 11th Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Get Out!

A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death." He turned around and said, "So, now you...
16:17 Tue 10th Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Jeremykyle

The wife said she wanted to go & see Jeremy Kyle live for her birthday. So I got her sister pregnant! We're on next Wednesday!...
13:38 Tue 10th Oct 20175 answers, last by marval 14:13 Tue 10th Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Old Lady In Elevator!

An old lady got on an elevator in a very lavish building,when a young woman gets on smelling of perfume. The woman turns to the old woman and arrogantly says "Romance by Ralph Lauren £150.00 an...
09:33 Tue 10th Oct 20176 answers, last by cupid04 14:19 Tue 10th Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Unsatisfied!

A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well."...
05:38 Tue 10th Oct 20174 answers, last by marval 14:11 Tue 10th Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

The Pharmacist

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the...
19:34 Mon 09th Oct 20175 answers, last by marval 20:03 Mon 09th Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Curry Jokes!

I went for a curry the other day and got some terrible news. My naan had slipped into a korma. My bum was sore after a curry. The wife said "ringsting" I said 'why?, what will he know about it?" i Was...
14:30 Mon 09th Oct 201730 answers, last by DTCwordfan 17:46 Mon 09th Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

A Penguin

A penguin is driving along the coast when his car breaks down. He takes it to a garage and the mechanic says he'll look at it in about half an hour. As he's at the seaside the penguin decides to go...
09:22 Mon 09th Oct 20175 answers, last by DTCwordfan 15:07 Mon 09th Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Been To The Doctors

I've just been to the doctors and have been diagnosed with Sausagephobia. I fear the Wurst....
08:36 Mon 09th Oct 20171 answer, last by marval 14:55 Mon 09th Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Postman!

Scared the postman today by going to the door naked I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived...
21:24 Sat 07th Oct 201716 answers, last by marval 16:56 Sun 08th Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Paddy And Murphy!

Paddy and Murphy are at the airport queueing at the check-in at the beginning of their holiday. "I wish I had bought the TV with me"says paddy "Why's that said Murphy" "Because the feckin tickets are...
19:07 Sat 07th Oct 201710 answers, last by Shaglene 12:33 Sun 08th Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

My Girlfriend!

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the bonnet of her Honda Civic. But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord....
10:47 Sat 07th Oct 20178 answers, last by zebo 19:26 Sat 07th Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

New Pillows

I went to a Dunelm store for some new pillows.the assistant in the shop said " Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines"...
18:30 Fri 06th Oct 201711 answers, last by Patsy33 23:04 Fri 06th Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

In The Pub!

I'm sitting in a packed noisy pub having a few beers.. in walks a referee. I reckon it'll kick off soon!...
18:06 Fri 06th Oct 20173 answers, last by Tilly2 18:11 Fri 06th Oct 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Why Does A Squirrel Swim

Why does a squirrel swim on it's back? To keep his nuts dry....
17:14 Fri 06th Oct 20175 answers, last by Togo 17:36 Fri 06th Oct 2017

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