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Berniecuddles2

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Berniecuddles2
I was in bed with a woman and she said, "I want tonight to be magical!" And it was. After we had sex, I disappeared....
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Berniecuddles2
I've just found out my girlfriend is an arsonist so I dumped her! I'm gutted we got on like a house on fire!...
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Berniecuddles2
I got banned from the secret cooking society... For spilling the beans....
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Berniecuddles2
Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it's gone....
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Berniecuddles2
Just answered a post about ebay made me think what's the weirdest thing you've sold or bought? For me when I worked in a pet supply warehouse we got a wrong delivery of tractor parts of all things...
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Berniecuddles2
What do you call a judge with no thumbs? Justice fingers....
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Berniecuddles2
I'm gutted, the local Origami club has folded.
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Berniecuddles2
I used to be in a band called The Hinges. We supported The Doors....
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Berniecuddles2
Wife:Why do you talk about my weight behind my back? Husband:By the time I get around to the front, I've forgotten what I was going to say!...
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Berniecuddles2
Always amazes me as soon as a crossword clue that needs an answer is answered sometimes in under 30 secs...fantastic ..how do you do it.. do you have all the days newspapers or are you looking online...
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Berniecuddles2
Listening to Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra last night.Half way through the concert the man playing the triangle disappeared
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Berniecuddles2
At last got a letter from the Highways agency stating that our house is now blighted so now we can sell it them compulsory purchase order and can start looking properly around the Lincolnshire area...
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Berniecuddles2
I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday she said "nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace " ..so I bought her nothing !...
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Berniecuddles2
I went too see a private doctor about my loss of memory..he made me pay in advance!...
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Berniecuddles2
A Man has been arrested after falling into farm machinery whilst trying to steal it. He is due to be bailed on Monday!
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Berniecuddles2
My Dad recently got sacked from working on the Dodgems..... He's going to sue them for Funfair dismissal....
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Berniecuddles2
My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner... So I took the battery out of the smoke detector!...
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Berniecuddles2
I went to a fetish restaurant last night. I got toed in the hole....
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Berniecuddles2
I hate spelling errors. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined....
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Berniecuddles2
When I was younger a selfie was something we had to do when the wife wasn't in the mood.

141 to 160 of 261

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