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Berniecuddles2

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Berniecuddles2

Departure Lounge

Persuaded my wife to smuggle coke through customs by sticking it up her bum! I didn't know I could buy another can in the departure lounge....
16:21 Fri 22nd Sep 20174 answers, last by Arksided 17:46 Fri 22nd Sep 2017
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Islay

Fat Alba....

Alba as promised http://www.lionbrand.com/knitting-pattern-city-stripes-dog-sweater-1.html Click on download and the patter will be there. I will be back later with a link to the rescue centre xx...
16:23 Fri 22nd Sep 201723 answers, last by albaqwerty 19:33 Fri 22nd Sep 2017
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Patsy33

Got Really Emotional

Got really emotional this morning at the petrol station, don't know why, just started filling up....
14:40 Fri 22nd Sep 20177 answers, last by Arksided 17:51 Fri 22nd Sep 2017
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waterboatman

Good Morning Early Birds!

Friday. It's decidedly chilly this morning. Poked my nose out the back and pretty quickly brought it back in again! However, the sky is fairly clear. so it should warm up when Helios gets out of bed....
04:46 Fri 22nd Sep 2017123 answers, last by donny48 08:14 Fri 22nd Sep 2017
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waterboatman

Good Morning Early Birds!

Monday. sorry it's so late, someone at the power station for got to put a shilling in the meter, we've only just got power back. What time it went off I have no idea. I've been doing the rounds of...
04:34 Mon 18th Sep 201768 answers, last by Islay 07:41 Mon 18th Sep 2017
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manofnorfolk

When Is A Price Not A Price?

When the price on the packing of the item in DUNELM shows £4.99 and you get charged £6.00 for it at the till. Don't bother posting a review because anything negative you write will be "moderated"...
19:24 Sun 17th Sep 20177 answers, last by khaleesi 22:29 Sun 17th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

At The Florist!

Me: A nice bunch of flowers for the wife please Florist: Certainly, sir. Are you looking for anything particular? Me:sex hopefully...
16:15 Sun 17th Sep 20179 answers, last by DTCwordfan 18:41 Sun 17th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Perspicacious?

Don’t you love people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious?...
07:28 Sun 17th Sep 201729 answers, last by zebo 10:30 Sun 17th Sep 2017
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fender62

Colonise The Moon

sounds like a good idea to me, im suprised they haven't already, http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/854984/World-War-3-North-Korea-crisis-latest-news-Stephen-Hawking-moon-Kiev-YES-conference...
17:04 Sat 16th Sep 20179 answers, last by fender62 18:17 Sat 16th Sep 2017
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Smowball

Well Known People's Great Names...

Just watched the Grand Prix qualifiers, and they were interviewing Toto Wolff. Whenever I see his name it makes me smile - what a brilliant name! Any that you know of that make you smile?
14:22 Sat 16th Sep 201757 answers, last by sapelesam 21:45 Sat 16th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Busy Pub

I went to a busy pub last night dressed as a tennis ball. I got served straight away....
11:19 Sat 16th Sep 201712 answers, last by Patsy33 12:24 Sat 16th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

At The Chemist!

After waiting for half an hour in the queue at the chemist,I finally got to the counter and the woman serving said " I'm sorry about your wait" I replied " you ain't exactly skinny are you fatty"!...
09:23 Sat 16th Sep 20174 answers, last by Berniecuddles2 10:27 Sat 16th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

German Shepherd!

Really cheesed off. Every morning a huge German Shepherd poo's on my front lawn. Today, to make matters worse, he brought his dog....
07:35 Sat 16th Sep 20177 answers, last by Patsy33 10:04 Sat 16th Sep 2017
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Patsy33

Shooting Range

If you haven't worn a blindfold at a shooting range before, you should do it, you don't know what you're missing....
17:49 Fri 15th Sep 20171 answer, last by Berniecuddles2 07:25 Sat 16th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Down The Pub With The Lads!

Just had a good night out down the pub with the lads so I jumped in a taxi and said "take me to where I can get sex for a tenner mate" Bit gutted when he took me to my house!...
17:47 Fri 15th Sep 20175 answers, last by murraymints 10:56 Sun 17th Sep 2017
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Mexican18

Milkman.

This morning my wife chatted to the milkman for about 10 minutes! When she came back in I said "I've heard that he has slept with every woman in the street, except one" . She replied "Yes, I bet it is...
17:44 Fri 15th Sep 20175 answers, last by DTCwordfan 18:53 Fri 15th Sep 2017
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Berniecuddles2

Evian Water!

Have you ever wondered about those people who pay a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards!...
16:59 Fri 15th Sep 20178 answers, last by hc4361 17:30 Fri 15th Sep 2017
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marval

A Friend

A friend of mine told me he has a shed full of geese. I asked him for a gander....
16:03 Fri 15th Sep 20174 answers, last by DTCwordfan 16:51 Fri 15th Sep 2017
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Shaglene

Flower Show.............

Two little old ladies, Connie & Evelyn, were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress. The short one, Connie, leaned over and said, 'Life is so boring....
13:02 Fri 15th Sep 20175 answers, last by Patsy33 16:37 Fri 15th Sep 2017
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Shaglene

Cats...............

I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be...
12:52 Fri 15th Sep 20173 answers, last by maggiebee 12:54 Fri 15th Sep 2017

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