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chimney

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chimney

In the paper............

it said to check on your neighbours during this period of cold weather. The woman that lives next door to us is 87, she hasn't been round once to make sure we're ok. The lazy cow hasn't even taken in...
20:21 Fri 02nd Feb 20072 answers, last by smudge 11:18 Fri 09th Feb 2007
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chimney

What did the bra say to the hat..........?

You go on ahead, while I give these two a lift!
17:17 Sat 27th Jan 2007
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chimney

Fortune: Million Pound Giveaway

A cross between Dragons Den and Jeremy Kyle. What a load of s**t
20:14 Tue 16th Jan 20072 answers, last by Bearworld 11:19 Wed 17th Jan 2007
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chimney

An Essex girl.............

walks up to an Irishman and says, "Ere, why 'av you got L and R written on your shoes for?" The Irishman replies, "I'm a little bit thick so I put L on my left shoe and R on my right shoe so I put...
14:37 Sat 23rd Dec 20062 answers, last by Ollie_P 16:30 Sat 23rd Dec 2006
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chimney

There was a man..................

who was really into farm machinery, but unfortunately one day he was run down by a tractor, thankfully he wasn't badly hurt but this experience put him right off his love of farm machinery. So he...
14:29 Sat 23rd Dec 20063 answers, last by bernie6969 12:09 Tue 02nd Jan 2007
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chimney

Larry La Prise....................

the composer of the Hokey Cokey died the other day. The undertakers tried to put him in a coffin, they got his left leg in, and then the trouble started
23:49 Thu 21st Dec 20061 answer, last by bernie6969 12:10 Tue 02nd Jan 2007
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chimney

I walked into a bookies...............

and said, "Excuse me mate, is it ok to back a horse in here?" The bloke said, "Course it is" So I leaned out the door and shouted "OK lads, back it in"
23:47 Thu 21st Dec 2006
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chimney

Why is it...........

that the winner of Miss Universe is always from Earth?
01:15 Mon 18th Dec 20063 answers, last by teash 10:33 Mon 18th Dec 2006
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chimney

I walked into a chip shop.......

and said to the bloke behind the counter, "Have you got a large Plaice?" So he replied, "No, it's a small flat upstairs"
01:13 Mon 18th Dec 20063 answers, last by teash 20:42 Mon 18th Dec 2006
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chimney

Dance track with Queen sample

I heard one on Vernon Kays saturday show on Radio 1 a few weeks ago, whats the title and artist? It's a lot better than the Pink Floyd one thats around at the moment
22:26 Thu 14th Dec 20063 answers, last by vetty 11:55 Tue 19th Dec 2006
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chimney

Velcro.....

what a rip off
15:34 Sat 09th Dec 20061 answer, last by RoaldoM 17:43 Sat 09th Dec 2006
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chimney

With all the money that Children in Need have made.....

don't you think they should fix that bears eye?
21:55 Fri 08th Dec 20061 answer, last by NH 23:34 Mon 11th Dec 2006
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chimney

I started self defence lessons............

but i'm dyslexic so instead of going to karate I went to karaoke, that night 5 hoodies attacked me in an alley. I got through three verses of Come on Eileen before they knocked me out
21:51 Fri 08th Dec 2006
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chimney

I was mugged last weekend.........

by a gang of asthmatics. I should have heard them hiding.
21:43 Fri 08th Dec 2006
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chimney

A couple of my friends.........

ran out of cocaine last weekend so they snorted curry powder instead. One went into a korma and the other ended up with a dodgy tikka
21:41 Fri 08th Dec 20062 answers, last by xsophx 12:54 Tue 12th Dec 2006
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chimney

I went into the chip shop today.....

and I said "Could I have a piece of cod please?" The owner replied, "Certainly sir, it won't be long" So I said "Well it better be fat then"
21:35 Fri 08th Dec 2006
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chimney

I was at a cash machine today....

and there was an elderly lady in front of me trying very hard to look at the screen, after a few minutes she turned to me and said.. "Excuse me young man, could you check my balance for me?" So I...
21:29 Fri 08th Dec 2006

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