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chrisrob

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marval

The Warden's New Kitchen

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden knew that, deep down, Andy was a good person. So, the warden...
12:25 Fri 17th Apr 20093 answers, last by marval 15:50 Fri 17th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

For your de lick tation

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted,musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners...
09:22 Fri 17th Apr 20096 answers, last by Madmonks 18:38 Sat 18th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

French, English & cowardice

My knowledge of history and battles is extremely poor and my wife's is great. However, she ascertains the French are reputedly great cowards for just giving up in wars (eg WW2) and letting others...
10:43 Sun 22nd Mar 20099 answers, last by chrisrob 09:42 Fri 17th Apr 2009
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marval

Shopping Duck

A duck goes into a shop and asks, "Can I have some lip salve please?" The shop assistant asks, "Will you be paying cash?" The duck replies, "No thank you, just put it on my bill."
16:59 Wed 15th Apr 20092 answers, last by marval 16:24 Thu 16th Apr 2009
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sophie_1003

prawny pun

Far far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean , two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one was called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and...
12:48 Wed 15th Apr 20095 answers, last by McMouse 16:19 Wed 15th Apr 2009
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alexl

There again or then again

Which is the correct use There again or then again?
20:36 Tue 14th Apr 20092 answers, last by chrisrob 09:54 Wed 15th Apr 2009
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McMouse

Time for a pint

A woman walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre. So he gave her one.
17:58 Tue 14th Apr 20092 answers, last by no-knowledge 09:59 Wed 15th Apr 2009
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jordielaz

Should you arrest someone ...

...who is lying by a lake on a shallow pebble beach wearing nothing but a pair of 'Y's?? Basically i think this sort of behaviour is unacceptable but someone in the office said this morning that as...
10:45 Tue 14th Apr 200928 answers, last by paraffin 15:15 Tue 14th Apr 2009
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lindylou16

Ho Ho Ho

I visited a castle today and everyone was watching me, So I went over by some rocks and still, everyone was watching me, So I hid behind and obviously fake plant but still, everyone was watching me, I...
18:25 Mon 13th Apr 20092 answers, last by chrisrob 09:31 Tue 14th Apr 2009
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sophie_1003

one of my faves

A troop of French Foreign Legionaries were marching through the desert. They had been marching for days, their water supply had run out, and they were on the brink of collapse. And then suddenly, as...
19:06 Mon 13th Apr 20098 answers, last by JonnyBoy12 11:17 Sat 18th Jun 2011
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chrisrob

Which of these digital cameras

I want to buy my wife a digital camera. She liked the look of one in Tescos. I have searched on the net and found it: Samsung S1060 at ?129 http://direct.tesco.com/q/R.205-3982.aspx But I have also...
11:43 Mon 13th Apr 20094 answers, last by peterthomos 10:14 Thu 13th Dec 2012
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marval

Avoiding a big object

Driving to work, a gentleman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had...
23:16 Sat 11th Apr 20093 answers, last by Hugh-Jampton 12:12 Mon 13th Apr 2009
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marval

Save the dead rabbit

A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was...
21:44 Fri 10th Apr 20095 answers, last by chrisrob 10:13 Sat 11th Apr 2009
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marval

More miscellaneous terms

Miscellaneous terms Arbitrator \ar'-bi-tray-ter\: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's. Avoidable \uh-voy'-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do. Baloney \buh-lo'-nee\: Where some...
16:05 Fri 10th Apr 20091 answer, last by chrisrob 19:20 Fri 10th Apr 2009
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bronners

cats pooing in the garden

Any ideas as to the best thing to put on the garden to deter cats from pooing on it please.Many thanks in advance.
00:47 Fri 10th Apr 20099 answers, last by albaqwerty 17:57 Sat 11th Apr 2009
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chimp57

ink cartridges

Please can someone tell me where is the cheapest place on the net to buy ink cartridges for a LEXMARK X3480 INKJET PRINTER. Thankyou all who can help.x
14:53 Thu 09th Apr 20094 answers, last by tiggerblue10 13:22 Fri 10th Apr 2009
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Mully79

Hiring a skip

We've a load of domestic waste to get rid of, all piling up in the garden, shed and loft at the moment. A lot of damp wood including 3 doors, small pieces of old furniture, large outside Xmas decs...
11:23 Thu 09th Apr 200910 answers, last by Mully79 15:48 Sat 11th Apr 2009
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McMouse

Are

Santa's helpers subordinate clauses?
11:10 Thu 09th Apr 20097 answers, last by McMouse 11:24 Thu 09th Apr 2009
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Sub Category

Can we have a subsection to Jokes called "Crap puns"? that would then give somewhere for chrisrob and McMouse to post their godawful rubbish and leave room for jokes that might be funny in the main...
16:51 Wed 08th Apr 20098 answers, last by no-knowledge 09:34 Thu 09th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

Music anyone?

A director is screen testing Sylvestor Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger for a new film about classic composers. Not having figured out who to give which part to, he asks Sly who he would like to be....
09:45 Wed 08th Apr 20094 answers, last by squarebear 15:20 Wed 08th Apr 2009

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