IRISH MILLIONAIRE Mick, from Dublin, appeared on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 pounds. You've done very well so far,' said, Chris Tarrant,...
A starving asylum seeker is greeted at Dover by a good fairy who grants him three wishes. He says "I'm hungry" KA-POW, a full banquet table appears. He says "I want a nice house" KA-POW, a mansion...
Paddy phones Aer Lingus to book a ticket to Dublin. Booking clerk asks Paddy how many are travelling with him. After a pause Paddy replies, "I don't know, it's your ******* plane"
An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand , walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi "G'day,...
For all of you who frequent restaurants and recognise the need for the service to be faster, this is a timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference to an organisation. Last week, we took...
Not a question, more of a comment on why large companies are going into administration. I recently ordered on line from Mothercare a cot mattress for ?99.99 and attempted to use a widely distributed...
Having read many insurance postings involving rta's where the person posting "was not to blame" or as often stated "it was the other drivers fault". Wouldn't it be interesting reading to have a...
The Pope After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, and He doesn't travel light, the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb 'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says...
BBC have reported that petrol stations will start playing porn movies at their pumps so you can see someone else getting fckued at the same time as you.
Bloke walks into a pub and asks for a pint of anything except stella. Barman asks what's wrong with stella? Bloke said...well I had 12 pints of stella last night and when I got home i was fcuking...
The Labour Party has decided to change its logo from a rose to a condom believing it more accurately reflects their policies. This is because a condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys...
Several months ago we had a water leak in the bathroom which resulted in the downstairs toilet floor getting very wet. We have now decided to renew the vinyl on the toilet floor but after lifting the...
Just heard this today and it made me laugh. It may be a copy of a previous posting , if so I apologise but hope it will bring a chuckle to others who may not have heard it before. THE PERFECT HUSBAND...
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day the wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for...
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed,...
Patrick & Shamus away from home for the first time on a visit to London. They spot a shop, Suits ?10....... Trousers ?5............. Shirts ?2. Shamus said "Patrick, there's a bargain, lets buy the...
Two Irish hunters hired a pilot to fly them both to Canada to hunt moose. They bagged six. As they started loading them onto the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane could take only...
