My wife said "What do you think of these Teso Beefburgers I said Champion MY daughter said she wanted a pony for her birthday, as I could not afford this I bought her some Tesco Beefburgers I had...
A man walking through an airport dooranother one sideways is going to Bangkok Two men sitting in a pub with empty glasses "Your round " says one . The other one says "So are you, you fat bastard"...
Only the other morning she came in the bathroom when I was having a bath. She sank all my boats. I bought her a water bed but we still drifted apart A woman who thinks a way to a mans heart is through...
The question was who produced the first credit card and the answer given was "Diners Club" which was 1950. Flatbush Citybank issued credit cards in 1945. There were also, in Europe, as far back as...
When she buys a programme she says to the seller "I remember you, didn't you used to bend iron bars on you John Thomas". .He says that is correct but I do not do it anymore as my wrists have gone...
The landlady ask him what he would like for breakfast. He says plenty of baked beans like two tins and toast. He comes down the next morning and eats all his baked bean breakfast then he goes out....
A professor was giving a talk on the paranormal to a group of students at an University. He asked them "Does anybody here believe in ghosts, if you do please put your hands up" About half the class...
Not only has nobody ever beaten him , he has never got a question wrong. Ironically the challenger only got one question right. Why not get some proper contestants instead of this cannon fodder Not...
Tonight's contestents were the Poker players. Jeremy Vine and the challengers talked about beating the Americans at Internet Poker. Did none of them not know than anybody from the USA is barred from...
I went into Argos to buy a watch. It was in the sale having being reduced from £39.99 to £19.99. I asked the girl assistant was it a digital. She said I dont know what digital is . I said is it a...
Laila Morse was asked what film star sang "Under the boardwalk" She said "The drifters" . Where do they get these clueless people from? Another question tonight was " Who were the children of Miss...
When somebody has dealt and accepted the money and Noel says the player and the banker must play honestly after that. What is the point except fill the programme time up. Yet Noel gets so excited and...