A glass of wine To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine.. And those who don't and are always seen with a bottle of water in their hand. As someone once said: In wine there is wisdom, In beer there is...
There was this guy who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged 6 miles everyday. One morning he looked in the mirror and admired his body and noticed that he was suntanned all over...
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks,...
Seen Outside a Coffee Shop in London...
We love kids, but PLEASE
keep yours at your table
Unattended kids will be given
a shot of Expresso and a
Free Puppy.
Thankyou.
jem...
Do you realise in about 40 years time we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoo's?
and ... Rap music will be the Golden Oldies? (now thats scary)...
Teenagers...
Are you tired of being harrassed by your stupid parents?
ACT NOW
Move out - Get a job - Pay your bills while you still know Everything......
Can't sleep, I've been in bed for 2 hours and not a wink have tossed & turned & just had to get up. Thought I'd come on here for a bit & when the old head starts nodding I'll go back &...
The 13 things that PMS stands for... 1. Pass My Shotgun 2. Psychotic Mood Shift 3. Perpetual Munching Spree 4. Puffy Mid-Section 5. People Make me Sick 6. Provide Me with Sweets 7. Pardon My Sobbing...
A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with theTax Man who had come to review his records. At one point the Tax Man exclaimed, "Mr. Carter, we feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to...
Do any of you see days of the week in colour? Each day is a different colour and if someone says to me "See ya nx Wednesday" thats my green day & I remember it as that. Monday is Pink...
Anyone else got a talking watch? I had it for xmas but it didn't talk so sent it back to the RNIB. they've sent a replacement and it does talk but insists its "5 AM" & won't budge, have...
THE CAT We were dressed and ready to go out for a Dinner & Theatre evening. We turned on a 'night light', turned the answering machine on, covered our pet budgie and put the cat in the back...
Eileen and her husband Bob went for counselling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, Eileen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in...
. Children's Logic: Giive me a sentence about a Fireman," said the teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct...
HEALTH MESSAGE? (please give me a break) As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't really give a rat's rump. It's the tortoise life for me! 1. If...
I was in the bathroom, putting on my makeup, under the watchful eyes of my youngest granddaughter, as I'd done many times before. After I'd applied my lipstick and started to leave, little Sadie said,...
1. Money can not buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Rolls Royce than on a bicycle. 2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the arse-hole's name. 3. If you help someone when they're in...
